running a slight bit late...but what's new?

We are almost off! Plans for the next couple days:

1. Make cookie dough to take to Andrea's.
2. Pack for Andrea's.
3. Go to Andrea's where we will:
4. Help make beer.
5. Possibly ride horses.
6. Eat yummy food.
7. Drink.
8. Hopefully stay away until midnight!
9. Yell joyfully about some random occasion....oh yeah! the new year!
10. Go to bed WAY too late.
11. Wake up WAY too early.
12. Drink coffee...lots of coffee.
13. German pancakes anyone?
14. Hang out doing whatever.
15. If I am lucky, take a nap at some point.
16. Enjoy the peaceful wonder of being with friends we love.(this is a step that can and will be done in concurrence with the above steps)

Little Scholar Girl

Will post some pics from our vacation (though I took a pathetic amount) later. Here's Kaia tonight, trying on her daddy's hat and glasses.

Had a good day today, was a bit grumpy this morning, but felt better after some food.

Looking forward to a relaxing, drunken new year's eve!

a little more than planned...

No time! No time to even think of a good post topic, let alone write it.

That may be an excuse. I'm just not feeling it lately...that urge to write, that idea of something interesting. Don't give up on me though! I'm not going anywhere. Just.....resting. Just letting things settle a bit.

Planning to sign Kaia up for some stuff. Ballet again, in January, through her preschool. It's less expensive that way, and easier for me! All I have to do is go to the recital at the end. Then swimming continues, every Tuesday and Thursday until March. And the really exciting thing about that is that Andrea is signing up Katia and Liam at the same times! So we can sit and visit while watching our kids have fun while learning important stuff! Doesn't get any better than that....Then in March, soccer at her school starts. That will take up time with games and such, but she's been talking for months about wanting to do soccer, and her attention span isn't usually that long!

Another thing she's been asking about is flying alone. She saw some kids on the airplane, and asked where their parents were. When we explained about flying alone, she asked when she could. She's been flying with us kinda often her whole life, 2-3 times a year, so I think she could do it. Talked to mom about it, since that's where she wants to go, of course. Mom thought it was a pretty good idea for a weekend trip. I think Kaia'd love it, and feel so grown up!

I downloaded iTunes, for the someday I own an iPod. I'll be ready! One thing that was really cool was that it imported all my little videos from my camera, so I'll have all those to take around with me too! I have almost 500 songs so far, though I need to go through them and edit. I know, I know, you probably feel that is so few songs. Harbor no worries! I'll get more!

Alright. gotta go see what my daughter is doing while supposedly brushing her teeth. 'night, all.

garden goal

1. figure out garden plan.
2. order seeds.
3. fill out google calendar for gardening.
4. follow through!

to be the followee, instead of the follower

Will do a larger post later about my vacation, but wanted to pass on this tidbit.....

We are in the car, and my uncle Dan asks me what religion my daughter Kaia is. She's five, so I answer that she's not old enough to decide what religion she is, or if she even wants one. After a second or so of silence, my daughter says....

" I do so know what I want to be!"

"oh yes? what?" I say.

"THE QUEEN"

oh! wait...what was I doing again?

gonna try to make this not such a downer post, because I don't really feel depressed, exactly. I'm kinda getting over being sick, was awful yesterday, slept all day, when I wasn't coughing. Today, I girded my loins (hee hee, I just love that phrase) and we went to the mall, to brave the crowds for chocolate, and FORGOT to get chocolate for ME. sheesh....that's what being sick will do! Makes you forget the basics.
It doesn't really feel like Christmas to me this year. Feeling a bit off kilter, out of whack, and just floopered. yes, I just now made that word up.
Anyway, I just keep feeling like I'm supposed to be doing something...but I can't think of what, and it seems important. It's worrisome. anyone out there know what it is? have I forgotten to do something? it feels so necessary...and imminent...
Christmas should be fun, though. Christmas Eve we are going to my sister's, for ham and roast beef. Then we are spending the night at my parent's, for Christmas morning pancakes and bacon. Kaia will eat sausage, of course, with syrup. That afternoon we will head back to Mike's parent's house for another meal, and spend our last night there.
It has been a nice vacation, but this fog I am in has got to go. I wish I could feel that I was getting everything done......but this feeling that I am not is persistent.

Merry Christmas, All, and please, if you know what I am forgetting, let me know! :-)

umm...hello? is this thing on?

hello

been a few days, yes.

the memorial went well, everyone cried, and laughed, and remembered Bill.

Had a good visit with Mike's brother and his family, they went back on Monday.

Have been staying at Mike's parents house, but sleeping tonight at my parents house.

have a head cold, bad sore throat, cough.

Kaia is enjoying seeing everyone.

Celebrated Tania's birthday at the ceramics place, painted a planter, Kaia pianted a horse and a tile, very cool.

there, that was exciting wasn't it? I'm a bit tired, and foggy-brained.

more later, though!

:-)

procrastinating........

I have been known to submerge my stress, my worry, my sadness. In fact, I was told that was one of the contributors to my sickness, my habit of burying stress inside me. It is hard for me to admit to being actually upset, though I will bitch about stuff for long minutes at a time. But if I am actually worried? really, really worried? You probably won't know. Hell, I probably won't know. But I have incontrovertible proof I am upset about going to Bill's memorial.

I am not packing.

yes, this seems odd. what, you might ask, about packing-or the lack thereof-proves such a thing?

Some of my close acquaintances are aware of my love of packing before a trip. I have everything laid out, and ready to go. laundry is done, and toiletries are in bags on the bathroom counter, waiting for their final use before travel.

I am not saying a pack WELL. In fact, I am hopeless at packing the correct number and style of clothes for myself or my daughter. Mike's packing is hard to mess up. jeans, jeans, jeans, maybe some slacks, some t-shirts, some button up shirts, boxers, socks, undershirts, voila!

However, I LOVE the anticipation of packing for a trip. I will do it as soon as I can justify it. when I have more space for clothes, that could be weeks ahead of the actual trip.

and I can't do it. We leave Friday, are thinking about not being here tomorrow night, and I work tomorrow. and it's getting later.

I've managed to force myself to do laundry, and it's mostly done. but the thought of putting it into suitcases, and thinking of everything I need to bring, and sorting toothpaste and brushes and such....it's exhausting. I feel like laying down and just sleeping for days.

Which is how I deal with stress when it won't let itself be pushed down. I sleep. If I am in a serious fight with someone, I get so tired I can barely breathe. This is quite so bad, but I can feel the weight of it.

I didn't think I was this affected. Yes, I'm sad about it. Bill was an amazing guy, so full of life, and such a GOOD man. But I know Mike and Kaia feel it much more than I do.

It's so strange to me, to think of someone simply not being here on earth any more. To not EVER be able to talk to them again in this life. It's so final (yes, I know that's obvious. it still seems unreal)

Saturday will be hard. I will be there for my husband, for my daughter. coffee...coffee will be drunk in large amounts.

and we are there for 11 days. more than usual, so I am hoping to get some good, real time with all of those people there I love so much. Life is so uncertain, but I know that the people I spend time with while down there, the people I choose to have in my life, are with me to the end. both the ones in my family, and the ones I consider family, though not related by blood. i don't always remember to call them often, but I think of all of them, all of you, so much, every day. I have been SO LUCKY in the people I have found, and the people I was born to. I need to make more of an effort to show them that I know that.

alright, enough rambling for tonight. there are suitcases to be filled ...... yawn.....

Daily Glimpse #23

Here is Kaia at her Holiday Concert. It was wonderful, cute, and blissfully short. She, of course, is the one on the far right. She is wearing a dress from her Mema, Papa Bill and Auntie Ariel.
After the songs, we had cookies and punch. Then we went home and opened some of our presents, since we can't take them all with us, and get back after Christmas! Got some good stuff! Mike's fave was his mixer, mine was an amber necklace, and Kaia's was her stable, and the horses she got to use with it.

Little Miss Snotty

MY DAUGHTER...my daughter!
will post later about her concert, which was very cute.

BUT.

Just now, she was playing with her new stable and horses, and for the second time, I told her to go get ready for bed. She actually SAYS TO ME

"I'm doing something! What's YOUR excuse?"

Oh yeah, that got some corner time.

Papa Bill

Last Saturday, my father-in-law passed away. He's had cancer, which I've mentioned a couple of times. About a week ago, he was told the chemo was no longer working, and he had two months. Mike talked to him on the phone a few times, and they said what needed to be said. The I love you's, and the I'm proud of you's. (this is how I want to go. I want time to get things all wrapped up, finished)

We got a call from his daughter, Ariel, Saturday night at about 8:30. Ariel turned 15 yesterday. I cannot imagine what this is like for her and her mom.

Mike has FIVE finals this week. I feel so bad for him, and I wish I could take some of his pain. He's trying to hard to concentrate on studying. I wish he could just skip the finals.

Last night we told Kaia. I had wanted to wait, because my parents were visiting and I didn't want to ruin her time with them.

She understands death. She knows what it means, at least for those of us still here. Even though Mike and I aren't sure what we believe, we told her her Papa Bill was in Heaven. She cried for a long time, then started going back and forth from crying and distracting herself by doing other things. Later that night, she told me she wanted to cry, but had no tears, and that upset her.

As we lay in bed, trying to go to sleep, she brought up the idea we had talked about before of how Her grandpa was in her heart, and always would be. I told her she could still talk to him, up in Heaven, anytime she wanted to.

She turned over on her back, and placed both her hands over her heart.

"Papa Bill." She said. "I will always love you. FOREVER."

Daily Glimpse #22

Hello All! We put up our "tree" today! Right now we only have room for a tiny one, but I'm loving the pre-strung-ness of the fake one we have. SOOO much easier. I also didn't hang all the ornaments we have, just the special ones. The reason mom is crowding in front of me is that she's a camera hog.

Just kidding. I am wearing a tank top that is less than modest in the....chest area, and she is helping me retain a bit of my feminine mystery...that which is left, at least! ;-)

Kaia had fun, but she had more fun decorating the gingerbread house.....well, eating the candy, at least. I decided next year I want to get TWO houses, one for me to decorate exclusively, so I can be as picky as I want.

Having a wonderful visit, though today I was unusually tired. I got to take a short nap (thanks mom!) and drank more coffee than usual. We went to our usual place for breakfast. Mike picked out some shoes, and I bought my sister's Christmas present. (hee hee) After my nap, we went grocery shopping, and when we got back, my dad was here! He and Kaia are discussing important issues, and my mother is doing dishes. I am SO spoiled when she is here! and I am weak, I just let her do it... I did make dinner tonight! tacos! yum!

Daily Glimpse #21

Well, it's been a loooong day on this first day of Mom's vacation here...mom and I spent the day shopping (you should see my bracelet!!) and then we picked up Kaia and went out for dinner. We've been looking at pictures and videos, and just got some wine! Good times, good times....

There's a lot we are wanting to get done, so have full days ahead. More to come!!

21

1. Flip to page 18, paragraph 4 - in the book closest to you right now, what does it say?
“The tightness in my shoulders came up my neck and spilled out my mouth. ‘Listen you little pip-squeak. I am coming down there. I am not letting your paranoia hurt Richard.’”

2. If you stretch out your left arm as far as possible, what are you touching?
The table by the couch.

3. What’s the last program you watched on TV?
Can it be a recorded one? Don’t watch TV…the recorded one was Avatar: The Last Airbender

4. Without looking, guess what time it is.
9:10pm….was almost right! It’s 9:06

5. Aside from the computer, what can you hear right now?
The hum of my fridge and a slight case of tinnitus.

6. When was the last time you were outside and what did you do?
walking to my door from the car after picking up Kaia from preschool

7. What are you wearing?
lavender pajama pants with little flowers on them and a white tank top.

8. Did you dream last night? If you did, what about?
The last dream I had before waking up was about finding spiderwebs in my closet. They spread across my room and the spider was hiding behind my dresser.

9. When was the last time you laughed?
While Kaia was reading to us.

10. What’s on the walls in the room you’re in right now?
oh my…um….three family photos, three drawings by my great grandmother, two fingerpaintings by my daughter and I, and an advent calendar.

11. Have you seen anything strange lately?
Nothing that comes readily to mind.

12. What do you think about this meme?
passes the time.

13. What’s the last film you saw?
in the theatre? or at all? In the theatre, Stranger Than Fiction (excellent by the way). At all, Serenity, for the second time (also, very excellent, though you should watch Firefly, the shows that come before it).

14. If you became a multimillionaire, what would you do with the money?
pay off all my bills. invest a shit-ton of it. give friends and family a nice share. pick a few charities and give a bunch…..
then, I’d build my dream house, buy a new car, and plant a garden. in the house would be a dark room, and a huge studio with room for painting, pottery and stained glass.
I’d buy a monster truck and learn to drive it.
Travel around the world.

15. Tell us something about yourself that most people don’t know.
That most people don’t know? hmmm…that’s tough, I’m pretty babble-y about me….let’s see….here’s one—I will only eat grape jelly on peanut butter sandwiches, and on toast only strawberry or raspberry.

16. If you could change ONE THING in this world, without regarding politics or bad guilt, what would it be?
That no child would go without a parents love.

17. Do you like dancing?
LOVE IT. LOVE IT. notice the question wasn’t CAN you dance….

18. George Bush?
No thanks, I shave.

19. What do you want your children’s names to be, girl/boy?
already have one girl with a perfect name…Kaia. Have the middle names maybe picked out if we have another girl- Willamina Lyle. Lyle will be one of the middle names if we have a boy, too. No idea on first names for either. Really into Malcolm right now for a boy though. (From Serenity and Firefly!)

20. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Don’t think so. Our families are here, and they are too important to us to be that far away.

21. What do you want God to tell you, when you come to heaven?
Welcome, Della! Everyone who arrived before you is waiting to see you! First, here is your complimentary wine and chocolate!

Daily Glimpse #20

Kaia has been asking for a few days if she can do a face mask. We had time tonight, and so I sat her on the bathroom counter and rubbed clay all over her face. She enjoyed watching it dry into a light color, and liked making faces at herself and others, but when it came time to take if off, she didn't like how warm the washcloth had to be to get the mask off.

Daily Glimpse #19

Here's one of the pictures from sledding at Andrea's last Sunday! Was a ton of fun, but I'd forgotten how tiring walking up hills in snow is!

Is it only me that feels time just swooshing by?! Sometimes I feel like yelling at the carnie in charge to STOP THE RIDE! Not morbidly, of course....re-reading that sounded a bit drastic. I just want to enjoy my days, and I am feeling like they are speeding by too quickly to do so.

My parents are coming this weekend. My mom is flying in tomorrow morning, then my dad is driving up on Saturday. They are both driving back on Monday. Too short!! It will be wonderful to have the time with them.

It's snowy here, but melting. The last few nights have been icy, since it's thawed a bit during the day. I really dislike winter, though sledding was a ton of fun.

Gonna have a few picture posts, since I couldn't upload pictures for a few days!

sleddin' and eatin' and stuff

what happened to my spell check, and ability to post pictures?!!? BLOGGER!! HEY YOU! give my icons back!!!

anyway, would post a picture, but can't.

We went up to Andrea and John's yesterday to go sledding. I bundled up, then halfway through took off both scarves, and would have taken off a layer if I could have, trudging up hills in snow is hard work!!

Had a lot of fun, I love sledding!

Funny thing about kids....

Kaia loves rides at fairs, will ride almost anything you let her. But it takes a long time for her to get confident enough to sled by herself, and doesn't like to go very fast, or far.
Liam will fling himself down that sled run like there's no tomorrow, giggling hysterically the whole way. But it takes him a long time to get confident on amusement park rides, and he prefers the kiddie rides.
go figure.

after sledding, we had a yummy stew dinner, with cheesy biscuits. Andrea and I have been experiementing with spelt flour, since Mike can't have wheat. It's actually quite tasty, and healthier since it's whole grain. Most things don't rise as much, and bread can be a bit dry, but overall, we are very pleased with the results! Chocolate chip cookies are really yummy with spelt instead of wheat flour! The biscuits stayed kinda flat, but weren't tough or to dense.

Gotta go back to the dentist tomorrow, wish me luck and numbness!

My mom and dad are coming out this weekend! We're gonna put up the tree and make a gingerbread house.

Papa Bill

People of my age are not supposed to lose their parents yet. We are not that old. Our parents are not that old.

Mike's dad has been fighting cancer for almost a year now. At his last appointment, they told him the chemo isn't helping anymore. He has two more months.

TWO MORE MONTHS.

Daily Glimpse #18

This is actually from last night, sorry.
Mike and Kaia went sledding after school, even though it was ONE DEGREE outside. They didn't stay out there for long.
First they went out back, where there is a hill....leading right up to the house. I am in the kitchen, when I hear a big THUMP on the back door. I open it to see Mike and Kaia on the sled at the back door laughing hysterically. They moved to out front where there is a longer hill that doesn't have a house at the bottom. Has a fence, but that's ok.

Thursday

well, yes, it's been awhile since I've posted. Here's a few things I've been up to.

Today I went to the big city up the way, regularly a 1.5 hour drive, but because of snow, a 2 hour drive. Could have been more, but the roads were good. I had to go to the dentist for a special root canal. First, he apparently didn't believe my regular dentist, or me, that it takes a LOT of novacain (actually, my dentist uses ardocain, works better on me, not sure what this guy used) to get my mout numb. I knew we were in trouble when he started out by saying "I have a regular procedure, so we'll just start with what I normally do and go from there."

TWO AND A HALF HOURS LATER, my mouth still wasn't fully numb, but was numb enough for what he needed to do today, which was just "take a look". Not really sure why he couldn't do it all...well, normally, at least. At this time, I understood. But he had said at the beginning that that was all he was going to do. He's the professional....I guess. So back I go next Tuesday, and I hope we don't have any more of that "start with what he normally does" bullshit. Like I'd LIE. Yes, Dr., I just LOVE having half my face numb for hours. In fact, I PLANNED last time to have to get so numb that my vocal cords were numb and I sounded like a drunk duck on helium. anyway. I just hope he knows his stuff, and the damn root canal works.

Here are a few conversations with Kaia I've had in the last few days:

While trying to describe how big the Mini-Pringles were she says....

"these chips are tinier than the usual ones. They are as small as....a.....hmmm...a rock!.....a big rock! no, not a big rock, a little...no, a medium rock....they are a minute bigger than a medium rock! they are as small as.....as small as.....a rock that is as big as................one of these chips!"

I'm sure you know by now the exact size of these chips!


Tonight, AFTER eating her cookie she chose for dessert....

"I've changed my mind, I don't want a cookie, I want candy."


Last night, going potty while I'm in the tub, and she was planning on joining me.....

"Don't worry mom! I won't go potty in the tub!" Laughing at the absurdity of this.... "Going potty in the tub! I wouldn't do that!!" laughing agian....then very softly.... "not while you're in there!"

freezing-ass cold

It's cold!!! Online says 12 degrees, but I think they are taking it from Spokane. Still, that is cold.
This is not a good post. will post more tonight. I hope!

lame-ass update- more later

hello! I haven't posted in a few days, been busy!

Thanksgiving was awesome, spent it up at Andrea's. John did the turkey in a brown sugar brine, and it was SO TASTY! Much food was eaten, and good times were had by all. Then the tryptophan took effect and I took a nap.

Mike and Kathy and Bree got here, after an hour detour. We've been very much enjoying their company. I am so lucky to have the friends I do.

Right now, here is a breakdown of what's going on right now! I textual glimpse if you will.

Mike (the other one)- playing WoW and talking to people in the game.
Mike(mine)- reading and playing with Brianna.
Kathy- playing with Brianna and Mike.
Kaia- Playing a reading game online.
Me- obviously online and chatting with Jason.
Brianna- being entertained by Kathy and Mike.

We started watching Firefly last night. My Mike and I have seen it already, and are introducing it to Mike and Kathy. It's one of my favorite shows, and I curse the people who cancelled it.

alright. gonna get going, just wanted to let ya'all know I haven't forgotten aboutcha.

santa isn't telling....

We do not make a big deal of the getting-of-the-presents holidays. ON Christamas, ON the birthday, yes, we have fun and enjoy the heck out of the day. But leading up TO the days, I don't usually mention them to Kaia much. Santa has been discussed briefly, but he's not iconified (is that a word?!).

Lately, I've been reading blogs of other mom's, and reading about their kids' cute conversations about presents, Santa Claus, and all other things Holly and Jolly. I did realize one of the reasons Kaia doesn't really talk about desired presents is our lack of TV. She isn't bombarded by the ads for this necessary toy or that must-have gift.

However, I didn't realize how little we discuss presents until the following conversation:

Me: Hey darlin, what do you want for Christmas?

Kaia (in a very know-it-all tone): Mo-om! We don't know what we are getting until the morning of Christmas!

Me: Oh! (how did this happen?!) umm...right.....(should I drop this and thank my lucky stars!?! but I honestly don't know what she wants!! crap....here goes....) IF you DID get to choose, what would you want for Christmas?

Kaia: Toys. and candy.

Me: riiiiiight.....but, specifically, WHICH toys? (I am crazy!)

Kaia: ........(realizing this is her chance)......ummmm...well, barbies, and more horses, and a house toy, and a princess toy, and candy. and more cars, and more horses.

yep. I should have stopped at we don't get to know......

we start the bidding at $10....

This painting has been done by Kaia A.E.'s mother, Della. There is one thing noteworthy about it, which will increase it's value immensely.....if you look at the top left corner you will not only see the artist's hand print, but that of her far more talented daughter.

We start the bidding at $100....

Here we have a painting done by up-and-coming artist Kaia A.E. She's just starting to add prose to her art, which only adds to her amazing artistic expression. The depth of color used is only hinted at in this photo of her first piece in this series.

Cinder-Kaia

She was actually very excited to be asked to help with laundry. I asked her to go upstairs and get all the black clothes, and her eyes lit up and she raced up there. What she isn't excited about is me taking a picture of her.

Daily Glimpse #17

This is actually an "after" picture. We just finished finger painting on poster boards. Very fun, I want to do it more often! I think all the times I've tried to paint I've made the mistake of buying brushes!! Someday...someday I'd like to have space for an easel....a big one! and money for paints....big pots of them! then I could finger paint to my heart's content...

Will post pics of our masterpieces tomorrow!

Daily Glimpse #16

Ah yes, this picture says so much. John was so pleased with himself.

Had a wonderful salmon dinner, though it was a big late getting ready. And you know, I cannot WAIT until I have a nice clutter free dining room with a huge table that serves All.

Had training at work today. Now we'll at least be able to do activations, and the phones will be sent to the person the next day, as long as they activate before 4. Very nice. I actually like our rep, I was all ready to dislike her, since people I DO like have said she's horrible. But it went well, though apparently I was a bit aggressive in my expressing of my dislike of some of the policies we will have to follow. They make sense, but we've been so informal in a lot of our practices that it will take some time to get used to.

Feeling a bit better today, but NOT looking forward to doing all my dishes!

Andrea and I are going to do our birthday thing this weekend--yes, very late :-) We are not completely sure what we are going to do, but food and a movie seem likely. Possibly Stranger Than Fiction for the movie. Hope it's good!

feeling a bit lost tonight. Got a B on my last essay, and completely forgot to turn in an assignment. I think I might wait to take other classes until we move. Just to much going on right now. I need to be more "at work" while at work, and more with my family at home. When we move I won't be working so will be able to direct much more of my energy to school.

Turned in my rough draft for my last essay today.

Mike and Kathy and Bree will be here in a week! I'm really excited to have them come up, even though most of their time will be spent with Kathy's grandparents. That's okay, I understand, family is very important.

The situation at work is getting worse. We are down to one phone, and it's pink. I feel so bad for John. I so hope it gets resolved soon. I did a sales count, and I've actually already sold 22 phones this month. Not bad, though that will drastically decline now that we are literally down to one phone. Telling people we are out of phones is so pathetic! Welcome! Can't sell you anything, sorry! Also, one of my customers who had major things go wrong with his account was at swimming today, and apparently even more is going wrong. sigh. I did have a very nice guy come in today who was quite content to wait until we got phones to open his account. He was very smiley and understanding. I wanted to hug him.

Kaia had a hard time in swimming today. She just wasn't listening. The pool is cold and there are four other students in class, so I think anyone would be distracted, but she needs to pay attention! I'd love to someday get her private lessons, but at this age I don't think they are really necessary.

This morning, getting on her shoes, she matter of factly says:

"Mom, all my dreams are right here." She pats her right leg up and down. "My good dreams and bad dreams and just dreams." Then she pats her left leg up and down. "And all my feelings are right here. My happy feelings and sad feelings and mad feelings!"

Wish I knew where mine were kept! They just seem to sneak up on me.....

Daily Glimpse #15

Came across this last night in my search for some serving utensils my grandparents gave me. This is me in 10th grade. Big glasses, braces, and big hair. Trust me when I say this was the best picture of all four years, funny as that may seem.

Strangely enough, I was also planning on writing today about a friend I met while in 10th grade. Jeff was in my graphics class. Neither of us had many friends. He hid his shyness with loud rudeness, and I hid mine with...well, I didn't. I was just quiet. But somehow we were friends anyway.

When I got sick we lost touch, and though I saw him a few times when I got back to school, we didn't hang out anymore. I saw him at graduation, when he introduced me to his fiance. I was with Abe from 10th grade on, but he went to another school.

Fast forward 10 years. (and it has gone by fast!) A few months ago, I'm sitting at work having a conversation with Lazer about MySpace, and how I don't have one. Won't get one either! He says it's a great way to keep in touch with friends. I say I don't have any friends on MySpace. He says "I bet you do!" Well, since I only have a few friends, and I know for a fact NONE of them do, I grin at him and start putting their names in the search. Sure enough, no one comes up. Then he says "I am sure you know someone with one."

Well, the night before, I had a dream that I was back in the halls of my high school. No one else was there, but then I came across Jeff. So we just walked through the empty halls talking. Great dream, though I don't remember what we talked about! So I decided to put his name in. And sure enough, up he pops. He has a MySpace! Then I look at the Created On date. It had only been made a few days before! He hadn't actually made it, his ex had. He didn't know about it. So through Lazer's space I send him an email, and about 2 weeks later, he sends me one!

Anyway, we've been talking ever since, and also had breakfast when I went down a few weeks ago. It's really great to be back in touch with him!

Daily Glimpse #14

She's an Angel! No! A Devil! No! .....

She's both. trust me.

(aren't the pigtails adorable!?!)

Baby Bree

Something I have not yet mentioned is my nieces birthday. Technically, she is not my niece, but only the daughter of good friends. But in my world, she is closer to me than that, so I will name her niece..

This past weekend, she turned 1. ONE. My god. I so wish I could have lived nearer to her for this year, and the years to come. I hope she and I always know each other. Brianna, you can always come to me, for everything from advice, to a shopping partner, to chocolate. I am here for you, baby.

Daily Glimpse #13

So this is cheating, since this picture is from Saturday, not today. But this is my blog, I can do what I want!

Here is my man, comfortable with himself enough to lay in bed with another man. I am so in love with my husband.

ummm...yeah.

Hello All. Will post a picture or two, but not right now. too lazy to even make coffee...how sad is that? I really need to though, as I do have cleaning to do.

Spent Friday night at Andrea's, had a great time. Got to meet her friend Laura, who I've heard a lot about, but have never met. She's very nice.

All three kids got along really well. There were a few disputes of course, but over all, it seems to be getting smoother.

We made lamb loaf, a recipe Andrea found. It was quite tasty!

It is flippin' freezing here! I don't think our thermostat is quite right either. We tried to turn it up last night and nothing happened.

Daniel and Erin came over last night. We watched some episodes of an anime we've been watching.

Really not overly interesting today.

Daily Glimpse #12

it is not a swamp monster with poufy hair. really.

My husband is funny. He started laughing, which made me laugh, which cracked the mask, then he decided to take a picture of me, once he calmed down enough to walk down the stairs. I really don't know what was so funny. he thought whatever it was was hilarious though. like the man has never seen me with a mask on before. sheesh.

I am so tired. I was planning on messing around with my husband tonight, but I am exhausted. I think I will go to bed early and catch up on sleep. Then tomorrow I can jump him. We'll see who's laughing then! well, I'll be too busy to, I guess.....

this post makes little sense, reading back over it I can see that....but I am too tired to fix it. just know that I am aware.

Daily Glimpse #11

pretty much explained this in the last post. Kaia now wants a cow. We will see.

in the morning, you will have your Glimpse!

There will be daily glimpse about today, but I need to crop and edit and such the picture, and I don't feel like getting out my laptop to do that tonight. This computer can't do it.

We went out to Andrea's for dinner, and got to meet Clara, their keeper-cow! She's very sweet. Kaia "helped" feed (thank you Andrea, for being so patient!) and we said hello to all the horses.

Katia was very tired, her stamina still isn't very good. I watched her dressing change...that girl is a trooper. So many adults wouldn't have handled what happened as well.

Liam and Kaia for the most part got along well. At one point, Liam came in and informed me that Kaia had hit him. I called Kaia to come in, and she immediately burst into tears, yelling "I didn't hit him very hard!!!" It's so hard to keep a straight face sometimes. I don't think I punished her very well, just made her stand in the corner for a few minutes. ah well.

I'm tired...off to bed, after a bath.

Daily Glimpse #10

This outfit must be explained to fully appreciate it. First, you have her wearing MY knee high socks, which on her go all the way up her legs with sock to spare. Then she has on a really disturbing (in my opinion, but I guess normal) pair of pants. Over those, her black velvet shorts. On top, she has on two shirts, one long sleeved for the cold weather, then her preferred shirt, her pink one with sequins.

This is my daughter, people. Isn't she just AWESOME!?! I think so, too.

Daily Glimpse #9

Can you guess what this is?

It's a giraffe, of course, are you blind?!

;-)

blatherings while drunk--slightly

so hello! here I am, tipsy on one hornsby's..yes, I am a cheap date, folks.....very good thing to be really, when I don't want to feel beholden to some guy buying me drinks, so I have to buy my own...damn, I am having to fix too many typing errors..want to see what I type like, really? okay, I won't fix any of my erris...errors..shit, happeing arlreayd, thoug I'm..wow...some of this is the alcohol, folks, really, proivmie...that just did not work at ALL...the owrd..word...was supposed to be primive...prov....pROMIES...ishg...sigh...promise. there. typing very very slowyl made that work. i can acutally type really fast, but as you can see my accuracy is shit. there, that's vertter. better. or not.
I am also eating left over panfired noodles..pan fried. that it..that is. very good, one of my favirite favorite foods. almost done with this container. a little salty, this box is. i thin k i need another horsbsy..hornsby's.

okay, I am back to fixing my mistakes, that was just too confusing for me, so I KNOW it had to be confusing for you. would have started fixing them sooner, but forgot that I had made the decision to not fix them, so could make the decision TO fix them...yes, one hornsby's, folks, ONE. and I am reduced to this.

I would go to bed, but have just had sex, and unless I go to sleep RIGHT after, while still in that dreamy state, then I get WIDE awake (as wide awake as one can be while drinking) so here I am awake and drinking and eating and typing. probably should STEP AWAY from the computer and turn it off (that wouldnt' work, though, would it?!) but I have NO BOOK TO READ, which if you know me, that means I am at extreme loose ends and rather lost, really. how can I go to bed without a book? do people DO that? not read for some time before snoozing? sounds awefully boring to me.

would tell you deep dark secrets right now, if I had any to tell....but I don't. I pretty much tell everyone everything anyway.....well, mostly...but have had only ONE hornsby's, so still am a LITTLE bit clear. running out of things to say though.

Daily Glimpse #8

Here we are at dinner! Yes, we are eating in the livingroom, it's kinda fun this way actually. We had red beans with rice and mexi-corn, blue corn muffins, and fresh cherry tomatoes with ranch and blue cheese dressing. Very tasty.

I had 4 or 5 pictures and one really good one of all three of us smiling at the camera ( I figured out the timer function!) but this one is funnier. I had just put a tomato in my mouth and bit down before fully closing my mouth, so it squirted all over me. Mike is just starting to laugh, and Kaia is confused about what is going on.

Got most of my cleaning done today. Laundry to put away tomorrow. Working on the textbook tonight and tomorrow too. All in all, a good Saturday.

Daily Glimpse #7

Hello All! It's been a pretty good week here, but FREEZING cold! I really dislike winter. So here're we three tonight, Mike and Kaia are playing some Zelda game on his computer and I am on my computer at the table...good family time, aw yeah.

not much new really. .....

yeah....

can think of NOTHING to say...sorry.

Katie and James

My little sister is getting married!!! She and James are engaged! I am so happy for her. I like James, and look forward to getting to know him better. Life is good!

is it bedtime YET!?

okay. so this is what my day has been like. and, unfortunately for you, this would be WAY more entertaining if you could HEAR me, because I sound like a duck who has inhaled helium. Not really sure why, other than apparently the stuff the dentist gave me that isn't novocain (which doesn't work on me) does something strange to my voice. My mother was highly amused when I spoke to her on the phone, and Mike can't stop grinning when I talk to him.

I went in for my root canal, never fun, and had first some slightly happy news, then some not at all happy news. First, my dentist's office now gives complimentary parafin wax hand dips. very fun. if you don't know what that is, ask some female that you know gets manicures. They also give you head phones to listen to music.

however, my nerves are not only highly resistant to novocain, they are also resistant to the new stuff that works really well on top, but not so much on bottom. After many pokes, my mouth was numb enough for him to go to work. BUT my teeth are ALSO stubborn sons of bitches and my root canal passage or some such is too narrow for the drill and I need to go to a specialist for my root canal, at which time they might not be able to do it either. THEN guess what happiness occurs?! I forget the full terminology, but it ends in "-ectomy" which is never a good thing. they basically go in from the side, PEELING back your gum, and fix the tooth from BELOW. please pray for me that the root canal works.

The ardocain is starting to wear off, but I still can't talk right. Gonna take Kaia to swimming, then come home and make dinner. Mike has an EMA get together to go to.

CRAP. just missed a call from Kaia's girl scout leader...TOTALLY forgot girl scouts is....F#*K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! forgot I told the school she'd be going every Monday, so she DID go to girl scouts, then I forgot to pick her up at 4:30!!!!!!!!!!!! So Jennifer, the leader, took her home, then called me. my god. I am the WORST mother, I swear! She just got back, went out to meet her. She was fine, thank the gods, didn't even realize anything was wrong.

aside from the parafin wrap, bad day all around. no gold stars for me. in fact, take some away! sheesh.....and it's not over yet, still have to go to swimming, let's see if I can manage not to lose my only child again....

STILL CAN'T TALK RIGHT.

I love surveys!

The Dirty Thirty + (unknown facts/secrets about yourself):

1. In two words, explain what ended your last relationship? Paranoid Psycho
2. When was the last time you shaved your legs? Oh…umm….hmm…..well…oh! I know! October 18th! right before we went to Vancouver.
3. What were you doing this morning at 8am? Getting ready for work, and bugging Kaia to get her hair brushed.
4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago? Taking the deposit for work, picking up my futon cover, and getting pissed about the fact I forgot to buy a pumpkin for Kaia to carve, and now everyone is out except for the fake carving ones that are TWENTY FREAKING DOLLARS! no, I did not buy one.
5. Are you any good at math? Not really. I can do well in it in a class if I have a good teacher. I was actually really good at geometry….but I really really really don’t like math.
6. Your prom night? Junior year…I went with Abe, who would become my first husband. I wore purple. Mostly danced fast dances with other girls whose boyfriends were sitting down claiming an inability to dance. Had fun, but not enough to want to go the next year.
7. Do you have any famous ancestors? Not really. My brother and sister are related to Jesse James though! And I’m related to them…
8. Have you ever taken out a loan to pay for school? nope
9. Do you know the words to the song on your myspace profile? Why does everyone think I should have a damn MySpace?! NOT gonna! NOT!

I have no clue to where Number 10 is......so we will move along.....

11. How many different beverages did you drink today? It’s only 9:47….but so far I’ve had some water and some coffee
12. Do you ever leave messages on people's answering machines? If what I wanted to talk about was important. If I was just calling to say Hi, then not always. And I never do on boss-man’s, cause he doesn’t listen to them anyway, and he’ll see I called from caller id.
13. Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to? Jackson Browne! opening was Vonda Sheppard, who later played piano on that one show with the dancing baby and Calista Flockhart.
14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach? Wow…I haven’t been to the beach in too long…I think I do…yeah.
15. What's the most painful dental procedure you've had? Any of the ones that the dentist wouldn’t believe me that I need more Novocain than most people.
16. What is out your back door? A hill. Some concrete. Soon part of my container garden.
17. Any plans for Friday night? Watch Grosse Point Blank with my husband, if I can find it.
18. Do you like the ocean? Oh yes.
19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different kinds of popcorn for Christmas? Not sure if I have ever received one, but I’ve bought them for myself…
20. Have you ever been to a planetarium? yep. at OMSI
22. Something you are excited about? Dressing up for work tomorrow!
23. What is your favorite flavor of JELLO? Cherry
24. Are any of your great-grandparents still alive? Had to think about that one…no.
25. Describe your keychain. There is a metal circle. And some keys. And a hook thingie. Very simple.
26. Where do you keep your change? There is some loose in my purse. Some in a coin purse in my purse. Some in my car. And some in the change jar in our room in which we are supposed to put ALL change until it fills up and we can do something fun with it.
27. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people? Um….hmm…not really sure…high school maybe? Wow…there has to be a time after that…just can’t think of it right now.
28. What kind of winter coat do you have? A big black poufy one! And a pink one for less cold days that is prettier.
29. What is your current relationship status? Happy and content with My Man, for the rest of my life.
30. What are you wearing right now? Grey turtleneck shirt with a blue shirt over it, grey slacks, white socks (can’t see them) and black boots.

I guess the next questions make up for not having Number 10........

+. What is your current problem? My tooth. Getting a root canal at 1.
+. What do you love most? No, it’s WHO. Mike and Kaia. Hands down
+. Who makes you most happy? See above.
+. Are you musically talented? Nope. I can usually play mary had a little lamb on the piano if you give me time to practice. :-)
+. If you could go back in time, and change one thing, what would it be? Nothing. Everything, even the bad stuff, made me who I am today, and I like me.
+. If you MUST be an animal for ONE day-what would you be? A bird in some tropical place with no people. Fly! Fly!
+. Ever have a near death experience? I guess. When I was 16 and got really sick and it took the doctors a long time to diagnose what I had. My doctor said it was the worst case of ulcerative colitis he’d seen in 10 years.
+. Can you sing? Can I? uh uh, no way, no how. DO I? hell yes.
+. What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now? Strangely enough, I don’t have one.
+. Who did you cut and paste this from? Nadine from http://velvettush.spaces.live.com/
+. Name someone with the same b-day as you: Mike Meyers
+. Have you ever destroyed someone's property? Not to my recollection.

come on everybody shake your body!

We have a tradition in our family here. After we watch a movie, we all stand up and dance together to the song played during the credits. Tonight, it was "Conga" (or something like that..you know...the come on everybody let's do the conga..song) after "The Birdcage"

I love it. I love my family.

Daily Glimpse #6

Hello All! Here is Kaia today,

AFTER we took down the couch tent (the blue blanket on the side of the couch was the tent)

She isn't smiling for some reason, though she was two seconds before this shot. She is actually having a wonderful time, really!

The tail she is wearing has lost one of it's parts, it originally was three scarves all tied together.

catching up a bit.

Here's Kaia and I last night. We went to a party a few apartments down.

I'm the same thing every year, and only had to buy a wig this year, so it's an almost free costume. People seem to get a kick out of it.

At the party--Kaia had a good time, there were 4 or 5 other kids there, and they had a couple games planned, including this really easy monster hands making project that was pretty cool. You take plastic gloves (not the latex kind) and put a candy corn in each finger, to look like fingernails. Then stuff the rest of the hand with pop corn and tie closed with a ribbon.

I had an okay time, wasn't completely bored, just didn't know anyone. And I realized something. I wasn't really interesting in getting to know them. I have some very good friends, though most of them are far away, and I don't really need more. Also, there's not really any point in getting to know anyone here, since we'll be gone in a year, and they might be gone sooner. Very transient time of our life. Everything here is so short term. well, not everything. It has been wonderful living so close to Andrea and John and their family for a few years. They will be ALL I miss about this time. And we'll come back and visit them often of course.

Katia is at home today. I went out this morning to vacuum their house with my cool vacuum cleaner. Got a lot of dog hair, it's really cool to see how much it gets after each vacuuming. Was there when Katia came home, it was SO GOOD to see her up and smiling. She isn't fully recovered, but well on her way.

I haven't written very much lately. Not sure why. Been busy, yes, and tired. My tooth is bugging me today, not taking any more vicodin, nasty stuff. Ibuprofen seems to work fairly well. Going tomorrow to get a root canal, fun times.

Still haven't gotten a pumpkin to carve...need to do that tomorrow. Kaia will be pretty disappointed if we don't. I could care less. the messiness of carving, the messiness of getting rid of it when it's over. I love Halloween, but mostly the dressing up bit.

Hint for new parents who miss trick or treating--when Kaia first went out, and every year since, we tell her what Halloween is all about: Getting lots of candy to bring home and share with your parents. She bought it then, and it's just a given now. She's really good about sharing candy anyway, but it's good to train 'em young.

Will try to get back to Daily Glimpses this week too.

Have a wonderful Halloween, and happy Sunday!

better post later, maybe?

hello! for some reason I am in a blogging slump. so busy, but doing what?!

Went to a party at Kaia's preschool last night, dressed up as you can tell from the picture. Will look a bit different on Halloween itself, will post then too. My costume was a hit, especially the ears. Kaia had fun with her costume too, though the mask is a bit frustrating for her. She was also a bit cranky, and sugar didn't help. Overall it was a good night though.

my tooth is worse today, and really want to get laundry and other cleaning done, so can't take vicodin. for some insane reason I took some last night again, and once again had enormous trouble sleeping. it's so odd, I'll get really tired, but my mind will just be racing. got up at 2 am and made myself a peanut butter english muffin, so hungyr, but can't eat much! I'll be glad when this is fixed.

mind's blank. think it's the drugs.

hello from you friendly vicodin-stoned blogger for tonight! yes, I had forgotton how much vicodin affects me. good thing I'm not driving anywhere.

I have a damn abscess in one of my teeth. getting it taken care of Monday. hurst like hell. well, doesn't right now, of course.

Anyway, this picture was taken while in Vancouver, so technically not a Glimpse. will get back to those, promise.

Kaia and Bree, I hope you two know each other your whole lives. Two very special, smart girls. Love you both so much!

beauty is as beauty does!?

got this video on mochamomma.com. this is INSANE. how am I supposed to raise a daughter with high self esteem when this is the NORM!?!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYhCn0jf46U

grey/gray

this morning is not going well. not going horrible either, so I really shouldn't complain.

I am wearing all grey. this is unintentional. I was trying to find a new shirt when I realized I was late for the parent teacher conference with Kaia's teachers. I am even wearing a grey bracelet...well, hematite...so silver-y grey-ish. it's grey.

grey pants. grey shirt. grey coat. grey bracelet. oooo! black shoes!


i FEEL grey.

forgot my coffee too.

oh, and it turns out, school-wise--my daughter is about average. need to actually turn in homework (yes, I know). She's reading and comprehending at an average level, though she is in one of the top reading groups. She needs to work on writing during writing, and not drawing during writing. She is social and friendly. She is "vibrant".

I can still think my daughter is above average, right?

I feel grey.

vacations are too short

Well, hello! Fancy seeing you here....

No glimpse, obviously. I didn't bring my camera cable with me, or my laptop so I wouldn't need the cable. Will post some when I return. Having a really really good time. We went to a pumpkin patch today, Kaia had a blast, lots of pictures taken there too.

so much I think of to write....but no time.

quick funny-today on the couch...

Kaia asks--

"mom, sometime can I have a step-mom?"

"umm..no, you can't--" I start to explain why...but she interrupts me-

"--but mom! Miriam at school has a step-mom! why can't I!?!"

update

I was wrong, it was abscesses, not cysts. She had 8 of them, 3 big ones and 5 smaller ones. They drained a LOT of fluid from her abdomen. But she is okay! I guess it will take a long time for her to recover, because of how bad it was. She's in good hands though, with her doctors and family. She'll be in the hospital for 7-10 days, then home. Gonna take her some flowers and balloons later if she's feeling up to it.

Liam and Kaia are in the livingroom watching a movie. Gotta go get ready for work.

no glimpse today

We are lucky. I keep telling myself this. We live in a place where we have good health care when we need it.

My best friends' daughter just went in for surgery tonight. She has appendicitis and multiple abdominal cysts. She's ten years old, and is very scared. or was, she's in surgery right now. I feel so helpless, sitting here. Her little brother is upstairs, collaborating with Kaia about staying awake. I know this is a help, to have him here, and I am glad to do it. I want to do something else!! What!?!? I want to sit and wait with them, but I know that I am not needed there. That's ok, they have each other, and sitting there won't help anything. It's not a major surgery, but it's not minor either. She has a 50% chance of infection afterwards. What really sucks is that her symptoms were exactly like the flu, and any of us mothers would have done the same thing they did, which was treat her flu at home. Her mom feels guilty that she didn't bring her in sooner. I wish I could take that guilt away, convince her that she is the wonderful mom I know her to be. This is so scary, and I know I can't even feel a fraction of what they are feeling.

God, if you are there, you take care of this child. you hear me? You help the doctor to keep a steady hand, and you help him or her heal that girl. Please. please. and be there for her parents too. whether or not we believe in you in a clear way, or any way, if you are our creator, take care of us. take care of them. I know my prayer is not pretty or full of praise. I don't pray often. I don't know if there is anyone to pray to. good energy of the universe, gather at her side. fill her with healthy energy, with healing energy.

She will be fine. I know she will. People have surgery every minute. She will be fine, and have a scar to show off and tell the story of way back when....

Daily Glimpse #5

What a nice Sunday this has been. Nothing huge happened, and Mike and Carol didn't get to visit, but it was relaxing anyway. Kaia and I went grocery shopping. She has decided to be a cat for Halloween, black with white paws. I got a wig for my Elf costume, since I found my ears awhile ago, and I am very excited!

Here's Kaia wearing the ears, she reminds me of the Gump in Legend.

I messed around with my wig, putting a few braids in it, gonna put more in...also messed around with makeup for the big day...I love Halloween!

Leaving on Thursday for Vancouver, SO EXCITED...it's not enough time!! We only have 5 days there! I want more.

Kaia has her first Girl Scout meeting tomorrow after school. Hope it goes well and she is not disappointed and I am not horrified. Off we go to join the Cookie Cult.....

Daily Glimpse #4

Here Kaia and I are this morning....well, closer to noon actually, though we got up at 8:30. We are making chocolate chip pancakes! Wanna know the secret to divine chocolate chip pancakes?


use mini chocolate chips. yep. yum.

yes, we use bisquick. if you follow the "melt in your mouth" variation, they can't be beat. and add the mini chocolate chips, of course.

The white cup on the right is my coffee. see DG #2

The socks are a cold-weather morning must. They came off after 3 or 4 hours of cleaning. Check out Kaia's footwear. One flip flop and one ballet slipper!

I got my house SO nice today! Every single floor either vacuumed or mopped. got a pile of papers sorted I've been meaning to get to for weeks. Laundry is done and gets put away tomorrow.

I pumiced my toilet, then scrubbed it from top to bottom! yay me! For those of you who don't feel this is a note worthy occasion, and, in fact, do that frequently, don't come to my house. You are not welcome.

yet I look around my livingroom and there is clutter....must do something about that.

My uncle Mike and Aunt Carol might be coming for a visit tomorrow! I'm not sure, because she didn't respond to my email response to HER email about the visit...so I'm hoping that she got it, and they are coming. Kaia wants to ask her how to write her name in Chinese. And I want to visit of course.

Daily Glimpse #3

here I am! working and drinking, is that allowed?! I'm also talking online with Jason. Does it count as multi-tasking?!

so you can see the mess my couch is right now....just put it out of your mind...

oh, and the photographer is Kaia! whoo hoo Kaia!

I am drinking riesling....mmmmmm.....

Daily Glimpse #2

Ah Ha! You thought I forgot, didn't you?! I did not...I am slacking off and taking a break from doing my textbook lesson and giving ya'll another glimpse into my life and times. And man, is it exciting!

There are a few small details I must point out.

1. Coffee. in my new purple leak-proof travel mug! A morning Necessity.

2. Water. working on that healthy thing called...health...
3. See that small yellow innocuous looking thing by my hand? That, my friends is a phone pry tool. Evil little thing, because it makes it easy to pry (they were smart with the naming bit!) parts off of cell phones. This is often a good thing, but in my hands gets out of control quickly. Never, I repeat never, let me near your phone with one of these innocent looking items. Unless, of course, your phone is broken anyway and I'm your last, very last, chance at making it work.

4. See the computer screen? On there is a list of names. This list grows EVERY DAY. This is a good thing, because it means we are selling phones. But one of my jobs (see the phone to my ear? I am in the middle of said job) is to call these people at various times in their cell phone ownership and inquire about their happiness with our product. Overall, not a stressful job, as they aren't often rude (since I am not selling anything), but can get tedious.

5. Other Important Daily Tools-
Wireless mouse, Oh! How I love thee!! Until your batteries die...
Stapler! what an awesome invention.
Scissors...fairly self explanatory in their usefulness, I would think.
Yellow box at left edge of counter- new 8400 phone that was sold shortly after pic was taken. Out because we have no fake phone to show people, and it's a really cool phone.
Pens. Multiple. Oh, the sad fate of lost pens...where art thou?! (and bring back all those post its I know are with you.)
POST-ITS! Again...POST-ITS!! There is a God. and on the ninth day, she created post-its. and it was Good.







(post its looks very funny written out, and sounds funny after being said a few times. funny funny language we speak. lang-goo-widge.)

A Sign of the Times

"Keeping your refrigerator clean at all times helps keep food safe.
Any spills-especially those involving fresh spinach- should be wiped up immediately."

what a world.....

watch out for the spinach, man. it's sneaky. can go bad at any moment.


(yes, I'm aware of the E. coli thing)

Daily Glimpse #1

Swimming! Here is Kaia, where she is every Monday and Wednesday from 6:10-6:55. She's really loving swimming, and is doing really well. She's improving on her side-breathing, which you have to admit is not the easiest thing to co-ordinate, so imagine trying to do it at age 5!
I hope she continues to enjoy it as much as she does now.

hey guess what!?

I have finally figured out a regular "thing" to do on here!

It's called....

Daily Glimpse

and it will be a single picture giving you, my devoted readers, a glimpse into my life every single day!!

Aren't you just thrilled? On the edge of your seat in anticipation for the first posting?!

well,

you will have to wait.

'cause I don't have my camera right now.

but!!

stayed tuned!!

tonight...

Daily Glimpse 1 !

So every so often, I decide I am going to start actually planning our dinners, so I will cook actual dinners with sides more often. Usually this starts and ends with me gathering all my cookbooks and deciding on 10-20 recipes that I want to try, writing down all the ingredients I'll need, then become overwhelmed and forget about it.

This time, I sat down and planned FIVE recipes, for Monday through Friday. I wrote down only the ingredients I needed for those five, and planned which day I wanted to have which recipe.

We are on day Two. This is AWESOME. such yummy food too. Tonight it's Curried Chicken & Corn Chowder.

Gonna do this every week, one week at a time!

phenomenon

This picture was taken 7 years ago (WOW, the time flies by....) Up at my mom's house. The boulder was a gift from all of us to my dad on father's day, and is actually a good gift, for him, not an "oh my gosh...you got...a rock?!" sort of gift.

When the pictures came back (we were using that archaic form of photography known as "film") this one looked like this.

Andrea and I went out one night to take pictures of each other (the picture on her blog is from that night), and we had a lot of fun. I hopped (heaved myself) up onto the boulder and was messing around. Will post some of the other pictures taken that night in a bit.

On Pants

Kaia has recently started wearing pants instead of avidly insisting on dresses and skirts at all times. This morning I decided to ask her about it. Here is our conversation:

"So, darlin', I noticed you've been wearing pants lately. You decide you like them after all?"

"Yeah, but just a little bit. I'm thinking about liking them more later. I like them medium size now."

"Medium size, huh?"

"Yeah. I will like them a lot more later."

nothing so cute as a baby.

This is adorable...

http://www.zooatlanta.org/animals_panda_cam.htm

Panda-Cam! a baby! Sometimes the baby is hard to see, but SO worth it when you can!


(and where has all the time gone!?! It seems I am so busy lately! good...go faster, time, faster! like, a year and a half....I want to go to school....)

another survey

THREE NAMES THAT YOU GO BY:
1. Della
2. Della-Bell (nickname my mom calls me)
3. Mom

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD, INCLUDING THE ONE YOU NOW HAVE:
1. Morning Glory
2. HippieBlueSkirt (was on some site where EVERY FREAKING name was taken.)
3. estodosuno

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My optimism (it’s usually there!)
2. My open-mindedness.
3. My ability to adapt to unexpected events.

THREE THINGS YOU HATE/DISLIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My temper – not often shown… but when it is…..
2. My laziness
3. I can sometimes be very petty.

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. German
2. Portuguese
3. French Canadian

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Something bad happening to my daughter.
2. Having an undiagnosed heart problem that I die of. (I shudder just thinking of it)
3. Large black jumping spiders.

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Eye cream
2. Coffee
3. A hug from my daughter

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Grey slacks
2. Maroon long-john material shirt
3. Black slides (shoes)

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS: (OR SINGERS)
1. Violent Femmes
2. Nine Inch Nails
3. Reverend Horton Heat

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. Square dancing
2. To be a better employee
3. To get pregnant (but not til the end of the 12 months)

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. Happiness
2. Laughter
3. Loyalty

TWO LIES AND A TRUTH
1. I have to pee.
2. I don’t want chocolate.
3. I love my life.

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. A nice sculpted (but NOT too muscle-y!) back and shoulders
2. A big happy smile
3. Clean hair

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. Accept prejudice in a friend.
2. Not flirt.
3. Sing on key.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Reading.
2. Planning my house that I will build someday.
3. Learning about gardening.

THREE MSN BLOGGERS YOU WANT TO PARTY WITH:
1. Mocha (she is not msn. Bite me)
2. Tinidian (again, not msn. Not sorry)
3. Andrea (msn!)

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Eat chocolate.
2. Have my essay already done.
3. Win the lottery.

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Ultrasound tech
2. Rich early-retiree (see number 3 of above)
3. Student (to get number one)

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Egypt
2. Ireland
3. Somewhere tropical

THREE TRUE LOVES:
1. My husband, always and forever.
2. My daughter.
3. Chocolate.

THREE FAVORITE ANIMALS:
1. Cats
2. Baby sheep
3. Horses

THREE REASONS WHY YOU'RE DOING THIS:
1. I am procrastinating finishing my essay.
2. Because I Love these things!
3. I’m just plain bad.

I sure do love you guys!

This -

http://youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4


is for the following people....in no particular order, except the first is intentionally Tania, cause she sent it to me (love ya, girl), and the love to each is in no way diminished because of the number of names....

Tania, Simon, Kathy, Mike, Bree, Mike, Kaia, Mom, Dad, Katie, Mick, Jason, Carol, Mike, Gem, Chris, Jeff, John, Andrea, Katia, Liam, Katrina, Jette, Dennis, Shane, Leah, Ally, Mathew, Bill, Shaun, Ariel, Alicia, Steve, Maya, Steve, Linda, Jennavieve, Jennilyn, Jada, Kendrick.....is that everyone? hope so....

oh...and a few people who will never see this...but sending out the love anyway
( I guess some of the above people won't see it either, but all of them I still am in contact with.)

Abe, Tisha, Barbara

and my Gaffer.

the promise of an update

looooong day. I was really trying to help my customers, and those people who are supposed to help me with that....weren't. in ANY WAY.

I was extremely grumpy today, and I finally realized why. I don't get PMS very much, but I get cranky when I ovulate....very strange. But I get REALLY cranky and emotional. cry a lot easier too. Customer care almost made me cry a couple of times today, when usually they just piss me off. They did that today too of course.

Had a wonderful weekend, but need to work on my textbook lesson now. tell you all about my weekend tomorrow!

Pet Peeve

when people assume that their personal experience is indicative of EVERYONE'S experience.

alright people, I'm fine... :-)

I get melancholy when it's late and I've just finished a sad book. I'm really okay though.

got some cleaning done today, though could definitely do some more...if I weren't feeling so lazy. It's a beautiful day outside! sunny and warm.

We're going grocery shopping in a bit, need to go over to the next town so I can try to find some spelt bread for Mike, who's trying not to eat wheat because of his Ulcerative Colitis.

Then we are heading over to Andrea's to spend the night. Mike is staying here to get some work done. Tomorrow I'm helping paint their trim on their house. Tonight we drink mead! yum.

We are thinking of getting the Nintendo Wii as a family Christmas gift. There's some kid games available, and you can also buy old Nintendo games through it for $5-$15! I like car games. It's a really cool system, much more interactive than old consoles. We will see, it's not a sure thing yet. And you know Mike and I have SO much time to play video games!

damn it! I just saw the spider that got away from Mike earlier, but by the time Mike came in to get him, he disappeared again. It cracks me up, Kaia is not afraid of spiders, though she doesn't like them. I get off the couch if one is on the curtains, She climbs up and puts her face three inches from the creature. "yep" she says "he's a biter!"

it's late. that's my only excuse.

wow...been a little while, for me, since I wrote anything. busy.

Just stayed up late finishing a really good book. Little Earthquakes...can't remember the author. Bought it thinking it was going to be a lighthearted book about friendship and motherhood, and here I am, my eyes swollen from crying at all the sad bits. still an excellent book though. Mike laughs at me when I cry from reading a book, and then say how good it was. hmmm.....laughs in a loving way, of course.

there are bugs from our new bed. I think. Not sure how they could be, it was only in a garage for one night, but since night before last, which was the first night it was here, both Mike and I have found a bunch of those little moth-type bugs. the little triangle shaped ones...wait, I guess most moths are triangle shaped, huh? well, anyway, I hope they are gone soon...it's creepy finding bugs on me all night. still love the bed.

it's been awhile since I've been awake at midnight, and later. So busy lately. I like everything I am doing, but not used to it yet.

having a hard time getting into the whole class thing. English 101. need to start my essay.

came home restless today. really not in a working mood at work either. not sure where the restlessness is coming from.

I would like to go to Egypt. Jason is thinking about going in ...February I think. I would also like to go to Portugal, and Ireland. Mexico, and some tropical island, oooooo....Jamaica! Germany. Australia. Africa...yes, I know those are continents, but can't at the moment think of exact areas, and anyway, I'm not that educated about exact areas....

Have I mentioned my ire about not having an accent? The Pacific Northwest is the only area of the US with no discernible accent. and no, having an American accent does not make me feel better, especially since I don't know any foreign languages yet to speak with an American accent. I love accents.

I have two scars on my stomach. I still haven't figured out how I feel about them. I have gotten to the point where I don't care if they show, and have still been thought to have a sexy belly with them, but they are still flaws. I sometimes feel I have enough of those without the scars. The scars tell stories though. stories that are part of me, stories that tell who I am and why.

do you remember your life vividly? I don't, and I don't know if that's normal. If I actively think of a certain time in my life, I can remember events, details. It's hard to remember thoughts, feelings though. and it's hard to just try to look back on my life as a whole and remember details...such as.....why did I get a divorce? NOT saying I regret it...wait...it's more, why did I do the things that led to the separation that led to the getting back together that led to the separation that led to the divorce that led to the getting back together that led to the final leaving? what was I thinking at each of these apexes? (is that the right word?) why did I choose to do and say, or not do or say, so many of the things in my life? I can't remember...and it seems to me that so many of them were done, or not done, because they were the passive choice. the choice with the least discomfort for me. I hate confrontation. I hate hurting people, but have done so out of inaction....and action. I hate being hurt. doesn't everyone though.

I am glad, so glad, I am not the person I was at 20...21...25. Will I be happy with the changes in me at 35? 40? 80? What will I look back on and say, what the hell was I thinking?

One thing I do know about myself is that my idea of acceptable behavior differs from most everyone else's. and I see so clearly how my way works. (of course)

there is so much time wasted on hate, jealousy, greed, grudges.

can I raise my daughter to be happy? to be kind? to be content? to be loving, and generous, and thoughtful, and strong, and confidentunselfishempatheticcapableloyalgivingfiercehardworkingandsomuchmore?

How do I do that? How do I know what's right? she cried tonight when she went to bed, and I let her, and left her because she can't get into the habit of drawing out bedtime with tears, and I have to be consistent but I know that sometimes I don't spend enough time with her but you know? the dishes need done, and the laundry, and the damn livingroom doesn't clean itself, and I am simply not good at sitting on the floor playing with horses, or polly pocket, and i need to come up with ways to spend time with her. I don't ignore her by any means, please don't think that. and I love my daughter so much.

I have a headache. and I have babbled on long enough.

I am a bubble head!

oh for bob's sake.

I just backed up my blog onto my computer, and read snippets of entries here and there. My head is a sieve, I swear. I write posts vowing to start this and that, and to blog about it daily, then not only never blog about it, but never remember to do it! I say I am going to write down what I spend. forget about it. I ask for advice on what to write. forget to take it. I remembered my Simplicity Lessons that I only did one lesson in...then forgot them. I just flit through life picking up causes and ideas and goals then blithely toss them aside to mold! sigh.

I wish I knew HTML, then I could write side lists like with MSN Spaces.....Hopefully next summer Mike can write our personal blog site with everything I want!

Will catch up on my activities (Kaia had so much fun in the play!) tomorrow. No promises on catching up on promised posts though. still very busy.

have a good night folks!

by the way, yes, I realize the article is a joke. One that is frighteningly close to the truth for some girls these days.

what is WRONG with this picture?!

okay, first of all, I am ALL FOR sex ed and I will get my daughter birth control when she reaches a certain age.

NO WAY IN HELL will that age be NINE FLIPPING YEARS OLD!!!!

http://www.recoilmag.com/news/chewable_birth_control_pills.html

WHAT THE F^*%K!!!!!!!!!!

heart broke? nope...

Kaia asked me yesterday...

"What does it mean when someone breaks up with you?" (remember her boyfriend Anthony)

"It means you aren't boyfriend and girlfriend anymore. Why?"

"'Cause Anthony broke up with me the other day." (she is coloring, perfectly happy)

"Oh! Why did he break up with you?" (do I really want to pursue this conversation?!)

"He doesn't love me anymore" (still coloring, she says this quite nonchalantly, still quite happy)

"Oh. Well. umm... you okay?" (shouldn't I not being having this conversation until she's, oh, say, THIRTY!?!)

"Yep! How do you draw a bunny?"

statement. query.

I want to clean my entire house. every nook and cranny. This little drawer in the desk. Under the bathroom sink. re-organize all my kitchen cupboards. I want a specific easy-to-get-to file where all my important papers are. A place for Kai to do homework that includes everything that was in the "A Place for Your Child to do Homework" paper that her teacher sent home. ("ideally, your child's feet should touch the floor. The place should be quiet and clear of any other papers or clutter.") !!!!!!!!

But i sit here. the task seems impossible. oh, and I want garden supply areas! A nice armoire-style garden closet! and space for the garden itself, have I mentioned that at all!?

this apartment is larger than many 2 bedroom places out there. it has storage closets, and a bathroom with two sinks. but I want more. I always do. why can't I find that zen place wherein I am at peace with my surroundings? I want to get rid of clutter! but I have, and want most of what's left, I just want more room to put it! I want floor space where I can stretch out and do dance DVD's.

I want. I want. I want.

I know, I am so lucky in what I have. I have everything and more that i need. again, why can't I be happy with it? not just resigned, not temporarily willing to deal until later...but genuinely content with the now? how do I make myself feel the way I know I should? How do I get into my thick head that I am rich beyond many peoples' dreams!?! I can tell myself that over and over. I can even say "yes I'm happy" yet still I dream of new towels and a matching soap dispenser.

are you happy? content with what you currently have, not wishing for one more thing in your life? do I know anyone in that state of complete repletion? is it possible? if not, WHY?

we're at the end of the movie. I've turned on my laptop to IMDB the flick (that's whose voice that is!!).

The end credits play.

Kaia jumps up, and begins to boogie. she says something I don't catch. "I'm busy, darlin'" I say, my eyes on the monitor. (looking up the trivia)

She shakes her booty into the dining room. I hear her talking to her daddy. She comes back, he follows. "dance Daddy! dance!"

I look up and he grins at me.

"Mom! come on! get up and dance with Daddy!"

"I'm bu--" I look at her, shaking what she's got.

I put down my laptop, get up, and grab my husband around the waist.

"No mom! you hold your hands like this!" she holds one hand at shoulder level, the other at waist level, waltz style. The music is hip-hop, forest critter style. alrighty then.

My husband and I move to the beat. Our daughter bounces up and down beside us.

"dance with us!" I say, laughing.

"no, no! you dance together! kids don't dance with grownups!"

what!?!

"oh come on, dance with us!" we each hold out a hand.

"No!" She is happy though, grinning, laughing, bouncing.

She grabs our clasped hands and yells "1, 2, 3, lift me up!!" Mike does, then lowers her down, as she giggles.

After a few minutes the song changes...another critter hoe-down.

Mike and I stop dancing together, and we dance in a group of three.

We boogie, we groove. (though no awards would be won)

Life, you know, is good. yes it is

yes it is.

first of all, ya gotta watch "Hoodwinked". cutest kid's movie I've seen in a long time.

whew! Having fun though...

busy busy busy week. did I mention how busy my week has been!? (and Aunt Carol, I love doing the lessons, so stop worrying!)

Here is how my week has gone so far. and? except for the head cold, I've enjoyed it all.

Monday- did dishes, dropped Kaia off at school, went to work, picked Kaia up at kindergarten (after calling because I actually had no idea what time kindergarten is over. three, in case you are interested.) , took her to the community play audition, then we rushed to swimming lessons, came home, fed her some sort of unacceptable dinner, did my nightly lesson. (reminder, these are not lessons that I am doing as a student, but as a writer and editor. (how snotty about it can I get?!)) then bathed and went to bed.

Tuesday - dishes, Kaia to school, me to work, picked up Kaia, went to Andrea's for dinner and to watch Liam, came home, put Kaia to bed, did lesson.

Wednesday - woke up early, did dishes, dropped Kaia off at school, went to work, took phones to our other store, (somewhere in there I realized I forgot my damn phone at work), picked Kaia up at preschool, rushed to rehearsal, then to swimming, picked up my phone at work, got Kaia's hair trimmed for school pics on Thursday, went home, made another unacceptable dinner, put Kaia to bed, did lesson. did NOT bathe, went to bed.

Thursday - Woke up with sore throat. took Kai to school, went to store to get paper grocery bag for costume storage and sore throat drops, went to work, picked up Kaia from kindergarten, went to UPS, found out needed to go to other UPS, didn't have time, went to rehearsal, came home, made dinner (sort of), did lesson, went to store for more cold stuff, stronger this time, and bread plus various groceries, came home, bathed, went to bed.

Today - got up early to make Kaia's lunch for dress rehearsal today, packed her bag for Swim & Gym at preschool, forgot to have her actually wear her bathing suit under her clothes, made coffee which I then forgot to bring, drank Theraflu, took Kaia to preschool, came to work. Plan for rest of day - pick up Kaia at kindergarten, take her to rehearsal. stay there until they start actual dress rehearsal, then I get kicked out and need to go to correct UPS place. Then go home, either take a nap or do dishes, depending on how I feel, then get Mike, and go to play!