Please excuse the possible meandering that may follow...
When we moved here, I knew no one local. I had a few friends and relatives in nearby towns, but no one HERE. I was extremely lonely, and missed having the kind of friend you can invite over just to hang out.
So I joined a mom's group on meetup.com (highly recommend it!). The first group I joined started well, and I met some women I felt I would like to get to know. I also met a few women at Kaia's school that I really liked.
Some of those friendships worked, some didn't. I found that though I might really like someone, we just might not click, sometimes on my end, sometimes on hers (seemed for a bit to mostly lean the second way) Being a sensitive person emotionally (don't laugh! I am! :-)), I took it personally when someone didn't seem to want to get to know me better.
I had two main wishes. To find some couple friends with kids that we ALL enjoyed hanging out with, and to find some really wonderful women, just a few, that I really felt comfortable with and laughed with.
I have a hard time sometimes focusing on the positive. We met some really nice couples, and happily the women in those couples were awesome. We met some with kids our kids' ages, and some with kids older or younger. (we don't really hang out in circles with kid-less people, which is fine.) For awhile, I kept thinking how I really missed good friends, and still felt that the friends we had weren't our BEST friends. I kept wanting that perfect person who would be my best friend here.
In the last few weeks, we've met even more families that we really click with. We've decided to make an effort to invite someone over for dinner every weekend. The weekends we don't, or even the ones we do, but on other nights, we go to friends' for dinner. I've realized that EVERY weekend we have one OR MORE social things planned.
Even more surprisingly, I've realized I have been more picky with who I choose for friends now. I simply don't HAVE TIME for a lot more. I have found a few women I adore, and feel really comfortable with. Mike gets along really well with them, and more importantly, their husbands. Our kids get along, and their kids aren't brats. We have to actually DISCUSS who we should invite over this weekend for dinner, and often have to decline invites because we are already booked!
We have become SOCIAL. We have made FRIENDS. I am a bit taken by surprise that my goals have been more than reached. I am really happy in our social life, and so lucky in the friends I have found. I can let the hurts go for the ones that don't want to get closer, because really? I don't need them. It's a good feeling.
I am happy. truly content with my life here, and it's only getting better.