in the car, yesterday

Kaia: "When I grow up, I'm going to pretend to be a boy."
Me: "interesting."
Kaia: "But I won't tell my wife. I won't ever show her my ...you know...that way she'll never know I'm not a boy."
Me: "ummm...huh..."
Kaia: "then when she dies, I'll be a girl again."
Me: ".............."

Little Man

Ben's cognitive abilities are crazy growing! For the last couple of nights, we've done "best part of the day" at dinner. Here are the things he said:

Last night--

me: "Ben, what was the best part of your day? Something good that happened today?"
Ben: "Armwarmers!" His granny had knitted him some armwarmers, and he had worn them most of the day. I thought it was very cool that he understood the conversation and the point of the topic!

Tonight--

me: "Ben, what was the best part of today for you? What happened that was fun? "
Ben: "Going Katie" We went over to a friend's house, her daughter is also 2, and is named Katie. he loves playing with her!

this is why I am heading to the asylum when Mike gets home

here is the completely un-exaggerated conversation that happens whenever Kaia is supposed to be doing a chore--and this is the very short, simple one of putting clothes from the washer into the dryer.....


me: "Are your clothes ready to be put into the dryer?"
her: "I don't know." (continues playing)
me: "Check, please."
her: SIGH. wanders toward the garage. gets distracted, starts playing.
me: "clothes, Kaia."
her: "I am!" opens garage door, heads out.
five minutes later...
her: coming out of garage singing to herself. wanders around.
me: "were they ready to be put into the dryer?"
her: "oh! I don't know..." wanders back into the garage.
five minutes later...
her: coming out of garage "I don't know where a laundry basket is"
me: in my room, dump the dirty clothes in front of the washer and use it for the clean ones"
her: dragging the hamper through the living room, gets distracted showing Ben how to take care of his baby.
me: "clothes, Kaia!"
her: "Ben doesn't know how to take care of his baby! I care about babies, don't you!?!!?"
me: " not pretend ones when you are supposed to be doing chores."
her: "MOM!! that's horrible that you don't care about babies!!!"
me: "CLOTHES, KAIA!"
her: "OKAY!" drags hamper into garage
TEN minutes later, comes out of garage
me: "where are the clean ones from the dryer?"
her: "oh, right...." wanders back into garage, comes out dragging a hamper with clean clothes. I hear no dryer sounds.
me: "did you start the dryer?"
her: "no, I haven't put my clothes in yet!"
me: " leave that here, go do so."
her: "okay" wanders back into garage.
a LONG TIME later...she comes back out
her: "can you help me? It's hard."
me: "no, you can do it. NOW GO DO SO!!"
her: "I have a stomach ache"
me: "I'm sorry to hear that. After you put your clothes into the dryer, you can rest."
her: moaning as she goes back in..."you don't even care that I'm sick!"
A VERY LONG TIME later...she comes back out.
her: "THERE. I'm DONE."
me: "remember to take this hamper into my room, please"
her: GROAN, MOAN, WHIMPER "but my TUMMY HURTS!"
me: "just do it"

she takes the hamper in, limping and moaning. coming back out...

her: "am I done now?"
me: "yes, finally"
here: "BEN!! let's play now!!" and runs off.

A Couple Ben-isms (or, As Close to Hard Copy As I'm Realistically Getting, Mom)

Instead of "Mamma mia! Here I go again!" Ben sings "Mamma mia, here you come again!!"

Instead of "I want up", he says "Can I have a uppie?"

Sowwy

Teaching a toddler to say sorry is an uncertain endeavor. Sure, you can tell them, "say sorry!" and they do, smiling sweetly at whoever they just hit/kicked/bit. But do they know that they are expressing anything other than a two syllable word? Not really. But you hope to at least instill the habit so that when they do figure it out, they know when to say it.

Early this morning, at about 4:30am, Ben woke up, as usual, and wanted to get into bed with us. Usually he falls right back to sleep and we cuddle until a decent waking hour. This morning, he was mad. He didn't want to go back to sleep, he wanted "UP!" and..."EAT!" He yelled and cried and slapped Mike on the chest as hard as he could, then collapsed against my side, crying. After a few minutes, he calmed down, and lay there for a moment. Then he rolled over, and without being asked said "sowwy" to his daddy. It was one of the sweetest things ever.

what education does...

Last Monday, our family all lounged about on the back deck. Kaia and Ben ran around the yard while Mike and I watched. At one point Kaia started running around with a stick, pointing it at imaginary bears and saying "Pow! Pow! Kill!! Kill! Die!"
I asked her to refrain from pretending to kill things. She said... (ready? you're not)

"But we're farmers! We grow all our own fruits and vegetables, but if I don't go hunting, my family won't have protein!"

game, set, match.

The most I could do at this point was request that the words "die" and "kill" not be used, and that she better use the WHOLE bear.

In Hopes She Will Always Talk With Me

Sitting on the couch today:

Kaia: I hurt my elbow! It hurts like hell!
Me: (stifling a giggle) That's a word you don't use in public, okay?
Kaia: Okay...what about the other word?
Me: What other word?
Kaia: It's a bad word....
Me: It's okay, you can say it right now.
Kaia: Heck.
Me: Well, actually, that's a better word than hell to use in public.
Kaia: Oh...what about the "B" word?
Me: B1tch?
Kaia: What does bitch mean?
Me: Well, two things, really, (I explain the two meanings)
Kaia: Do you know what the "F" word is? (she is excited to be discussing verboten things)
Me: F*ck?
Kaia: Yes! and this means it too! (she flips me off)
Me: That means f*ck you.
Kaia: Fckyoo?
Me: ......Yes.
Kaia: (eyes sparkling) I know the "h" word!
Me: (thinking we'd already gone over this one) What?
Kaia: Hate! and I know the "S" word!
Me: Oh yes?
Kaia: Stupid!
Me: Yeah, those aren't very nice words.
Kaia: Dumb isn't either.
Me: Very true.

and yes, we talked about when and where these words shouldn't be said.

This happens EVERY DAY

Yesterday, around 4pm:

Kaia: Mom, is there a full moon tonight?
Me: I'm not sure, I haven't paid attention to it.
Kaia: Dad, is there a full moon tonight?
Mike: I'm not sure either...can you see the moon?
Kaia: Yes, it's right up there.
Mike: Well, is it full?
Kaia: No, not yet.
Me: Well, whatever the moon looks like right now, it will look like tonight.
Kaia: How do you know?
Me: Umm..I just do. That's how the moon works. Whatever it looks like in the afternoon, it will look like that at night.
Kaia: You never know, Mom. It could fill up more by tonight, and be full.
Me: No, that's not how it works. If it's not full now, it won't be full tonight.
Kaia: You don't know that Mom, it might change!
Me: *SIGH*

This morning, on the way to school:

Kaia: We should go in that car wash sometime, Mom.
Me: Sounds fun, we will soon.
Kaia: It's right there, next to that store....eleven...seven!
Me: 7-eleven.
Kaia: It could be a eleven-seven.
Me: No, it's a 7-Eleven.
Kaia: How do you know that? You aren't the owner, whoever owns it might have named it eleven-seven.
Me: No, there are lots of 7-elevens around. I do know that it's 7-11, not 11-7.
Kaia: You never know Mom, maybe THAT store is a 11-7!
Me: NO, I DO know, that's not an 11-7, it's a 7-11. All 7-11 stores have the same sign.
Kaia: But HOW do you know?
Me: Well, you know that 2 plus 2 is 4, right? What if someone said they thought 2 plus 2 is 5? You would just KNOW that's it's not, it's 4, right?
Kaia: (grudgingly) yes...
Me: Well, you just have to realize that I have a bit more life experience than you, and I KNOW that is a 7-11, not an 11-7.
Kaia: Maybe it is...we don't know.
Me: *SIGH*

I can only hope this incessant questioning and disbelief will help her become a world famous scientist who discovers amazing things because she NEVER accepts someone else's answer for her truth.

Irreverence at its best

Kaia has a new saying. As far as I can tell, it's a mixture of "What in the world?" and "For heaven's sakes" But she uses it to mean "For heaven's sakes" (shouldn't that be for heaven's sake, not sakes? but that doesn't sound right..oh well, moving on)

So at times she will say "Oh for the world of heaven's snakes, dude!" yes, snakes, not sakes. I love it. It cracks me up every time I hear it. Sometimes I'll remember, and say it too. Cracks me up then, too.

Also, the other day she came out with "Oh, for the love of god!" I know I should probably teach her that out of respect for others' beliefs she shouldn't say it...but I didn't say anything. I'll have to confess it on Sunday.

bits 'n pieces

Ben got his 7th tooth 2 days ago.

Kaia's still working on her joke telling skills:
Kaia: What do you have if you have 3 pairs of shoes?
Me: umm...what?
Kaia: EIGHT SHOES!!! HA HA HA!!! Get it?!!?
Me: ummm...honestly, no...
Kaia: Because, you have 3 pairs, so you have 6 shoes, but then someone comes and secretly puts two more shoes there! So you have eight shoes now! Get it?!!?

Ben slept last night from 7:30pm to 5:10am!! From what I can remember, this is the FIRST TIME EVER!!!! WHOO HOOO!!!! (do it again tonight Ben!)

We ordered the kids' costumes today. Yoda for Ben, and Luke Skywalker for Kaia. Spent more than I really should have for costumes, but I really don't have the energy to make a Luke Skywalker costume.

I have worked out 3 days a week for the last 2 weeks. Not a long time, I know, but a very good start!

7 year old logic sometimes actually makes a scary sort of sense.

today in the car. this is only part of her monologue-

"I think there must be a god. If not, how was the first person made? Because the first person couldn't have been BORN, or the MOTHER would have been the first person! I think the first person ever must have been a woman, because if it was a man there wouldn't be as many people that exist today, 'cause men can't have babies!"

How to Be a Perfect Hostess. Or Not.

Kaia and I sit on the floor with her pretend food and play.....


Kaia: I'm calling you on the phone...
Me: Okay. Hello?
Kaia: Hello! Would you like to come over for a visit tomorrow?
Me: Sure! What time?
Kaia: Umm....how about....4 in the morning.
Me: That's a little early for me.
Kaia: Okay, how about 4:30?
Me: I'm still asleep then! How about 9?
Kaia: Come over at 10.
Me: Okay. Can I bring anything?
Kaia: Bring whatever you like!
Me: Okay!
Kaia: I will tell you what I am allergic to.
Me: Oh...okay.
Kaia: Ummm...I am allergic to.....seeds...and nuts.
Me: Okay, I will not bring any seeds or nuts.
Kaia: And I should tell you, I am allergic to sugar carrots too. It says on the package if they are sugar carrots.
Me: Got it. No sugar carrots.
.
.
.
intermission while Kaia gathers up various foods to be cookies and I gather up a few fruits to bring.
.
.
.
Me: Okay, I am coming over!
Kaia: We haven't even gone to bed yet!
Me: I am so tired! I'm going to bed so I can be wide awake to visit Kaia tomorrow!
.
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Me: Yawn! I slept well! Now I'll get ready to visit Kaia!
Kaia: Ring Ring!
Me: Hello?
Kaia: It'a a party now, not just a visit!
Me: Oh, okay! I'm coming over now!
Kaia: Okay.
.
.
Me: Hello! I am here for the party!
Kaia: Oh! Hello!
Me: I brought a watermelon, a peach, and a banana.
Kaia: What else?
Me: Nothing else...
Kaia: hmmm....(said quite disapprovingly)
Kaia: My son has wrecked the floor. Why don't we clean up before the party?
Me: Oh, okay.
Kaia: Or wait, why don't you leave and come back later. Come back at....umm....2!
Me: Oh, okay....I'll just leave the fruit I brought here then.
Kaia: Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

I think I saw a puddy tat! I did! I did!

For a little while now, we've been thinking Ben can say "cat", but weren't sure because a lot of what he babbles fits the situation he's in. "Out!" when he was struggling to get out of his car seat. "I want that!" when reaching for something the other day. But stuff he's not really saying, of course.

But this morning, he looked up, saw Suzie, grinned and yelled "CAT!" Then after we got all excited, he started saying "kitty cat! kitty cat!" over and over. Mike calls the cats "kitties" when talking to Ben, I call them "cats".

So he is now up to three words. "Mama", "Da Da", and "Kitty Cat". Or four, depending how you look at it!

21st Century Girl

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Kaia: Where did you find it?
Me: Online.
Kaia: What dot com?
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Reality Check

Two things. First, a funny thing my daughter said. Second, how I realized I needed to have it be said to ME.

So yesterday we're in the car on the way home. Ben is fussy because he's tired, and Kaia is grumpy because she had to leave her friend's house.

Kaia: Mom, Ben calms down when I pay attention to him. I think he just wants attention. (said in an exasperated tone)

Me: Okay, well, you could sing him a little song.

Kaia: I don't want to.

Me: Okay, you don't have to entertain him.

Kaia: (after a pause) Mom, can I tell him it's not all about HIM?

So, as I said in my whiny post, it could just be me taking things personally. And after a VERY nice email from the friend in question here is my conclusion.

I am extremely self-absorbed. Not all the time of course, but in situations like this. Because in the email she mentioned all the reasons -and almost all of them I was already aware of -that she has been busy: she's pregnant, has a 5 year old, her husband has been almost living at work (not willingly), she has a big over-seas trip coming up, she's had to plan and go to multiple doctor appointments for her and her family and her pets, and, not mentioned in her email, she has been helping out a neighbor whose back went out.

Yeah. Am I taking things too personally much? sheesh. Sometimes, I really just need to ask my daughter to tell me...

"Mom! It's not all about YOU!"

Buddha In June

I wanted to explain my new header, because I love what's in it but it's not completely clear what IS in it.

This is a Buddha garden that Kaia made in school. This is the Buddha sitting under a tree. (I think he gained enlightenment here? showing my lack of knowledge...)

Kaia learned about Buddha a couple weeks ago, and had a surprisingly clear memory of what they taught. I can't remember all of it, but parts of her explanation go as such:

"Buddha was a prince, and he was rich, but he hated to see so much suffering so he gave up all of his possessions."

"He sat under a tree like this (shows lotus position, or a 6 year old's idea of it) and was very still"

She actually remembered a lot more than that, but sadly, I do not.

just keep inchin' on...

Kaia: I made a new friend today. An inchworm!
Mike: Oh yes? Where'd you find it? Outside?
Kaia: No, on the dining room table.
Mike: .......oh......
Kaia: How'd it get there, I wonder?
Mike: Well, what do inchworms do?
Kaia: ............ measure things?

pass the prozac this-a way please.

Her: What're you doing?
Me: Looking outside.
Her: Why?
Me: No real reason.
Her: Well, that's silly.

Her: I'm gonna draw you a picture.
Me: Thank you!
Her: What should I draw?
Me: Umm...a horse.
Her: I don't want to draw a horse.
Me: Then draw whatever you want.
Her: Fine, I'll draw a horse.
Me: Cool.
Her: What color?
Me: Brown.
Her: How about pink?
Me: Okay.
Her: What color do you want it's mane?
Me: Are you actually going to color it the color I choose?
Her: (offended) Of course!
Me: Orange.
Her:........orange? really? Are you sure?
Me: Yes.
Her: aahhhh...fine. I think I'll draw a queen instead. What color should I use?


Her: Can you see me: (hiding under pillows)
Me: (looking over) No.
Her: How about now?
Me: (looking over again) No.
Her: How about now?
Me: (again, looking over again) A little bit of the top of your head.
Her: (not moving at all) How about now?
Me: (again again looking over again) A little bit of the top of your head. I'm not looking over anymore.
Her: One more time!
Me: Fine
Her: (again, not moving) How about now?
Me: *sigh* A little bit of the top of your head.
Her: How about now?
Me: AAUUGGHH!!!


Her: (looking at an old Halloween picture of Simon and Tania) Who are these people?
Me: Simon and Tania.
Her: What are they?
Me: Simon is a tourist. Tania is a cat.
Her: What's a tourist?
Me: Someone who visits somewhere other than where they live and go see the cool things there.
Her: What's on his nose?
Me: Sunblock. It's a tourist cliche.
Her: What's a cliche?
Me: umm....something that is said a lot. A lot of tourists go to warm places, so they wear sunblock.
Her: What's a tourist?
Me: Someone who goes somewhere other than where they live!
Her: Tania is a cute cat!
Me: Yes, she is!
Her: What was Simon again?
Me: A TOURIST.
Her: What's a tourist again?

One of the 50 similar conversations I have daily with my daughter

me: Please pick up your crayons.
Kaia: But I want to draw!
me: You weren't drawing, you were playing horses. Please pick up your crayons.
Kaia: Why can't I draw?
me: Because I want you to pick up your crayons. We are cleaning right now.
Kaia: But I want to draw!
me: Not right now, pick up your crayons.
Kaia: Why can't I draw?

This, That, and the Other

I feel there is so much I should, or could, write about that I haven't written because it all seems overwhelming. And a couple of the things are really important, like my mom's surgery, and Tania's pregnancy, that doing a post that includes all of them seems to trivialize the important ones. But if I keep this up, I'll never write a post again! So, please forgive me, mom and Tania, for putting your really important things in with other not so important things. So, here, in a probably very long post, are some of the things that I've been meaning to write about lately......

First up, I realized I haven't mentioned Tania's pregnancy much, if at all. The initial reason for that was that she wasn't telling everyone right away, and though none of the people she wasn't telling read my blog, or really even know about me, I thought I'd honor her desire to keep it all on the down low. Then when she DID tell everyone, I'd already known for awhile, and I didn't have the "OH MY GOD THERE'S SOMETHING AWESOME HAPPENING" chance to write about it. However, it IS happening, and it IS AWESOME. She finds out whether she's having a girl or a boy on the 30th. I was starting to think about a baby shower for her, but she is having one in Canada, so if I had one in Vancouver, there'd only be a couple of people. I think instead I will just do something special with her sometime in the coming months, and ask her sister in law, Sarah, to help me get some scrapbook stuff done at the shower. It would be nice to go to Canada, but I don't have a passport, nor the $100 it takes to get one, not to mention the money to get there. Ah well. Another time. Back to fun stuff!! I am SO sis-cited to meet her baby!!!!

My mom went in for hip surgery yesterday. It was successful, and I've talked to her a few times today. She's very tired, but excited that it's done, and looking forward to trying out her new hip! She's going to get the second one done in a few months, then planning on going hiking again for the first time in years! I'm really happy it's going well, and sending many many healing, happy thoughts her way.

At school the other day:

Kaia: Ms. H, I know what s*x is!
Ms. H: Oh, really?
Kaia: Yes, but I have to whisper it in your ear, 'cause some of the other kids might not know yet.
Ms. H: Okay........
Kaia (whispering): It's when a mom and a dad take off all their clothes except their underwear, then they hug and hug and hug!!

At my mom's house this past weekend, Kaia was watching TV. We don't have one, so she hasn't see actual TV shows for a long time. The show went to commercials. She watched for a minute, then looked over at me-- "Mom, what is this?! My movie was on, then all these....something came on that wasn't my movie!" I told her those were ads. She was confused. "What are ads?" I explained. She wasn't impressed. Yesterday, on the way to school she brought it up again. "Mom, why do those companies need more money? They already have money!"

I'm in a bit of a funk today. Something going one with a friend that I am trying not to take personally, because I am 99% sure it ISN'T personal, but my insecurities are rising, and I really would like it to be resolved. I don't know her very well yet. What I do know says that it isn't about me, and I keep yelling at myself that it isn't always about ME, in fact, it rarely is! I'm being selfish and egotistical to think it's about me. So I should just let it go. And I'm trying. It's so not this big of a deal. Okay, enough now.

Ben! He is so wanting to crawl! oh! and while we were at my mom's, I was standing with him in my arms in the kitchen with a few other people. He was wiggling and fussing and pushing away from me, so I put him on the floor so that I was holding on to his hands while he was standing. He looked all around at everyone, then grinned up at me like "NOW I'm just like everyone else!" He's so aware of the world around him. I'm working on a few things with him. Trying to get him to go to sleep without nursing him to sleep, and helping him get used to his crib. Today he woke up from his nap in it and didn't immediately start crying! He just looked around. Progress!! Last night he slept in his crib for a three hour stretch!

Okay, that's enough for now. Must work on house and dinner.