Been awhile...

and the tone might change a bit. Right now I'm sitting here while Mike and the kids are over having dinner with friends. I'm going out tonight to help other friends celebrate. I'm not really feeling like celebrating right now.

While I know this is my decision, and I feel it's the right one, and most days I really am okay, tonight I am not. I am worried about finding a job, going to school, finishing my homework this weekend, getting my car fixed...and on and on and on.

Right when I am fitting in, as the mom in a family, knowing other families, ones that include a husband, wife, kids....I go and become single again. I don't think I know any other single women, moms or not. The few unmarried ones have boyfriends...well, the one unmarried one. What'll I do with my free time on weeks I don't have the kids? I see a lot of movies in my future.

Hearing Mike talk about the things he's starting to look forward to solidify my decision, and my feeling that both of us will find bigger happiness apart than together becomes more concrete. I worry so much about how Kaia will react, but I know I need to show my kids that following what's in your heart is the only way to find happiness in this world. Mistakes will be made, and money might not always follow, but if you're following your dreams, you can't go wrong.

I must be true to myself in order to be true to those I love.

this is why I am heading to the asylum when Mike gets home

here is the completely un-exaggerated conversation that happens whenever Kaia is supposed to be doing a chore--and this is the very short, simple one of putting clothes from the washer into the dryer.....


me: "Are your clothes ready to be put into the dryer?"
her: "I don't know." (continues playing)
me: "Check, please."
her: SIGH. wanders toward the garage. gets distracted, starts playing.
me: "clothes, Kaia."
her: "I am!" opens garage door, heads out.
five minutes later...
her: coming out of garage singing to herself. wanders around.
me: "were they ready to be put into the dryer?"
her: "oh! I don't know..." wanders back into the garage.
five minutes later...
her: coming out of garage "I don't know where a laundry basket is"
me: in my room, dump the dirty clothes in front of the washer and use it for the clean ones"
her: dragging the hamper through the living room, gets distracted showing Ben how to take care of his baby.
me: "clothes, Kaia!"
her: "Ben doesn't know how to take care of his baby! I care about babies, don't you!?!!?"
me: " not pretend ones when you are supposed to be doing chores."
her: "MOM!! that's horrible that you don't care about babies!!!"
me: "CLOTHES, KAIA!"
her: "OKAY!" drags hamper into garage
TEN minutes later, comes out of garage
me: "where are the clean ones from the dryer?"
her: "oh, right...." wanders back into garage, comes out dragging a hamper with clean clothes. I hear no dryer sounds.
me: "did you start the dryer?"
her: "no, I haven't put my clothes in yet!"
me: " leave that here, go do so."
her: "okay" wanders back into garage.
a LONG TIME later...she comes back out
her: "can you help me? It's hard."
me: "no, you can do it. NOW GO DO SO!!"
her: "I have a stomach ache"
me: "I'm sorry to hear that. After you put your clothes into the dryer, you can rest."
her: moaning as she goes back in..."you don't even care that I'm sick!"
A VERY LONG TIME later...she comes back out.
her: "THERE. I'm DONE."
me: "remember to take this hamper into my room, please"
her: GROAN, MOAN, WHIMPER "but my TUMMY HURTS!"
me: "just do it"

she takes the hamper in, limping and moaning. coming back out...

her: "am I done now?"
me: "yes, finally"
here: "BEN!! let's play now!!" and runs off.

My Day So Far

7am: silent argument with husband about who gets up with Ben. We both lost.

7:15am: all 3 kids are up (we are watching an adorable and well-behaved 2 year old girl) and wanting breakfast. dogs too.

9am: husband is dressed in Halloween best and leaves for work.

9:30am: all 3 kids are changed, dressed and ready to go start errands. Kaia argues over necessity of wearing a coat. Kaia asks to wear bathrobe instead of a coat. due to bad attitude, she is denied.

9:40am: in the car, I explain The Plan: bank, haircut, groceries. I notice the tank is on empty. New Plan: bank, gas, haircut, groceries.

9:45am: bank trip goes well.

9:50am: at gas station, notice the tank key is missing. drive home, notice extra is missing. call husband, find out he has the extra (and no idea where the first one is, claims innocence).

10am: On E, drive to husband's work, pick up key, return to gas station, fill up.

10:15am: on the way to the haircut, Kaia has second thoughts. claims to no longer want haircut or costume choice. discussion concludes with a return to The Plan. continue on to hair salon.

10:25am: at hair salon, Kaia frowns at me worriedly during her shampoo, and stares suspiciously at the woman cutting her hair. Darling Girl that I am watching sits quietly and plays with the toys. Boyo transforms into a tornado and begins to make multiple attempts at escape.

10:30am: I catch boyo as he races past. He falls to the ground then yells "DON'T THROW ME!" this is then repeated every time I catch him. After the first few times of saying" I am NOT throwing you! YOU FELL ON PURPOSE" I figure it's useless and just stay silent.

10:45am: Kaia's cut is done, she looks adorable. She glowers at me as I pay, seeming to have totally forgotten this was HER idea and she was in no way forced to get her hair cut.

10:50am: in the car, Kaia bursts into tears after realizing that her hair will remain short even AFTER Halloween. I had not considered that this was a necessary fact to state. I was wrong.

11am: I decide NOT to go to the store, as toddlers and child are hungry and tired. I make an executive decision and stop at Taco Bell. Kaia decides she no longer wants her usual, and takes forever to decide what to try. finally at the threat of nothing she orders nachos.

11:05am: on the way home, we spot a Pomeranian loose in the street. Kaia becomes extremely upset thinking about its possible fate, and I pull into a safe spot and get out. Pomeranian looks at me and takes off in the opposite direction.

11:06am: daughter is in tears about the damn dog's Certain Death by Car, so I grab a piece of Taco Bell food and head off after it, calling "here Pommy Pommy!" it stops until I am a few feet from it, then trots off. I look back at Kaia's tear filled face and know I must follow the darn thing. I do, for another block.

11:07am: a cop passes by, then turns around. He parks in the middle of the road and attempts to capture the Dog Twit. he fails, and turns to me. I assure him of my non-ownership, therefore letting him know it was NOT ME who has a loose dog, and we continue to chase the moronic beast. The dog and the cop disappear around the corner.

11:08am: not wanting to lose sight of the car, I turn back, and realize I've gone 4 blocks. CRAP. I start to run, but not being in any shape at all, stop after half a block so I can breathe instead.

11:09am: cop pulls up beside me, tells me the dog ran back into its house through an open door, and he has ascertained its right to be there. He thanks me for my help and drives away.

11:10am: in the car, Kaia cries while relating "what COULD have happened" and I try to console her and remind her of what DID happen--the dog was returned safely home.

11:15am: we return home and I dole out the food. Darling Girl that I am watching decides Taco Bell is not for her. Kaia decides the nachos are too hot, so eats Darling Girl's food. Ben is happy with whatever.

11:20am: after much discussion, mac and cheese are decided upon for Darling Girl. Ben wants some too.

11:40am: I take Ben and put him down for his nap, read him a story and return to kitchen. I send Kaia and Darling Girl to the bedroom for some quiet time.

11:45am: I get a call from Darling Girl's mom. She has missed her flight by 20 seconds and is totally stressing out. I reassure her another night is fine.

11:50am: I spend about 10 minutes in my room, relaxing and getting some stuff done (meaning: I read email and veg out!)

12:00pm: I return to kitchen to discover Ben has dragged a chair out, gotten some sunscreen and is decorating the chair and floor liberally. I clean him up, send him back to bed, and clean up the chair, floor, etc.

12:02pm: I send Ben back to bed.

12:05pm: I send Ben back to bed.

12:06pm: I spend 15 minutes holding Ben's door closed. He tries to get out 3 times.

12:20pm: I put a gate in his doorway and check on Kaia and Darling Girl. They are fine, and working on making an art project.

12:50pm: I get a cat visiting job. :-)

1:40pm: Ben wakes up WAY too early and joins the girls in front of Kipper.

1:45pm: Ben asks for more crackers. I ask Kaia to please get him some. She claims to "not be in the mood". I inform her this is not optional. Ben cries. I intervene.

here is the plan for the rest of the day. guesses on how smoothly it will go?

2pm: attempt to put Darling Girl down for a nap.

3:30m-get Halloween costumes on 3 children, and possibly self.

4:00pm-meet Mike at his work and walk kids around as they get candy.

5 or so-return home, attempt to make some sort of dinner.

5:30pm- Kaia and I are going to a corn maze and hoping to actually find her friends BEFORE entering it.

later- finally go grocery shopping.

even later--SLEEP! (after probably the consuming of alcoholic beverages)

You Know You're A Mom When...

...while chatting with a friend, you don't notice for several minutes that your toddler, who is sitting on your shoulders, has been sticking his fingers up your nostrils and digging around.

*sigh*

Around 6pm

Tonight I stand in the kitchen, sneaking a bit of reading in between checking the chicken and corn cooking on the stove. In the living room, I hear my family….my daughter sitting at the computer, silent except for the occasional, “Daddy, look! I drew a girl with glasses…” My son running around, his little feet making a slapping sound, louder than his size would suggest him capable of. He drags his toy vacuum around, then momentarily drops it to pick up the dog’s ball and ineptly throw it for her, giggling as it lands about 6 inches in front of him, then rolls away. Our dog, still a puppy in her exuberance, snatches it up, glances doubtfully at him, then carries over to my husband, who she is well aware can throw it further. He obliges, and with a “good dog!” tosses it down the hall. Tail wagging, she chases after.

I put down my book and stir the chicken, the smell of the coconut oil I am cooking it in spilling into the air around me. From the living room come the happy shrieks of a boy who’s just been swept off of his feet by his daddy, and flung into the hair. I flinch at the same time that I smile. The dog bites her ball several times, causing it to squeak maniacally. My daughter says something about what she’s drawing on the computer, and in the chaos, I hear a crash….In the silence , I call “Is everything all right out there?”

There is a pause, then my husband – “Oh yes!” I hear the smile in his voice. The chaos resumes, giggles and feet and a squeaky ball.

“Dinner’s ready!”

Want to know how to ruin Christmas for your kid?

Step One: Have the great idea to go out of town to the grandparents ON Christmas Eve.

Step Two: Decide to have Grandma buy the gift from Santa, so that your kid doesn't see it packed in the car.

Step Three: Have the wonderful tradition of having grandma also get all the stocking stuffers. It saves you money, and she picks really cool things.

Step Four: Live in an area that never gets snow.

Step Five: Watch as a blizzard hits, making roads completely undrive-able.

Step Six: Wonder how to explain to child how Santa didn't know where you'd be, so he left all the presents at Grandma and Grandpa's.

Step Seven: Think about watching child wake up Christmas morning to no bike from Santa, and no stocking.

Step Eight: Cry, even though it's a totally materialistic thing to worry about, and there are millions of kids out there with no FOOD on Christmas, much less presents and stockings waiting at Grandma and Grandpas. Yes I KNOW it's a stupid thing to be upset about. BUT I AM.

In Hopes She Will Always Talk With Me

Sitting on the couch today:

Kaia: I hurt my elbow! It hurts like hell!
Me: (stifling a giggle) That's a word you don't use in public, okay?
Kaia: Okay...what about the other word?
Me: What other word?
Kaia: It's a bad word....
Me: It's okay, you can say it right now.
Kaia: Heck.
Me: Well, actually, that's a better word than hell to use in public.
Kaia: Oh...what about the "B" word?
Me: B1tch?
Kaia: What does bitch mean?
Me: Well, two things, really, (I explain the two meanings)
Kaia: Do you know what the "F" word is? (she is excited to be discussing verboten things)
Me: F*ck?
Kaia: Yes! and this means it too! (she flips me off)
Me: That means f*ck you.
Kaia: Fckyoo?
Me: ......Yes.
Kaia: (eyes sparkling) I know the "h" word!
Me: (thinking we'd already gone over this one) What?
Kaia: Hate! and I know the "S" word!
Me: Oh yes?
Kaia: Stupid!
Me: Yeah, those aren't very nice words.
Kaia: Dumb isn't either.
Me: Very true.

and yes, we talked about when and where these words shouldn't be said.

Evil Mom Gets Back At Bratty Child

Kaia threw a fit when I went to pick her up. A monster fit. A WAY bigger fit than any 7 year old should throw, EVER. So big that to relate it would just piss me off. So I retaliated. While buckling in Ben, as Kaia screamed in the seat next to him, I said, "Well, Ben, I guess we aren't doing that super-fun thing we had planned."

She paused in her wails. "What?! What super fun thing?" I didn't even look at her. "I'm not going to talk about it." I shut Ben's door and walked to mine. After I got in, the new fit started. "Give me a second CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCE, I'll beHAAAAAAAAAAAAVE!!" I ignored her. Finally she calmed down. "Mom? Can I have another chance? I didn't know we were going to do something fun."

"No," I said. "You don't behave because you get to do fun things. You behave well because you are supposed to. And you are certainly not rewarded for acting the way you are."

She begged me to tell her what the fun thing was. I said no. I said maybe next week, or the week after, we would do it. I said if she bothered me about it, that would add days onto the wait. I said we'd see how she behaved when I pick her up from school, and that I would THINK about MAYBE taking her in a week or two.

Now I just have to think of a fun thing. I had nothing planned at all.

This happens EVERY DAY

Yesterday, around 4pm:

Kaia: Mom, is there a full moon tonight?
Me: I'm not sure, I haven't paid attention to it.
Kaia: Dad, is there a full moon tonight?
Mike: I'm not sure either...can you see the moon?
Kaia: Yes, it's right up there.
Mike: Well, is it full?
Kaia: No, not yet.
Me: Well, whatever the moon looks like right now, it will look like tonight.
Kaia: How do you know?
Me: Umm..I just do. That's how the moon works. Whatever it looks like in the afternoon, it will look like that at night.
Kaia: You never know, Mom. It could fill up more by tonight, and be full.
Me: No, that's not how it works. If it's not full now, it won't be full tonight.
Kaia: You don't know that Mom, it might change!
Me: *SIGH*

This morning, on the way to school:

Kaia: We should go in that car wash sometime, Mom.
Me: Sounds fun, we will soon.
Kaia: It's right there, next to that store....eleven...seven!
Me: 7-eleven.
Kaia: It could be a eleven-seven.
Me: No, it's a 7-Eleven.
Kaia: How do you know that? You aren't the owner, whoever owns it might have named it eleven-seven.
Me: No, there are lots of 7-elevens around. I do know that it's 7-11, not 11-7.
Kaia: You never know Mom, maybe THAT store is a 11-7!
Me: NO, I DO know, that's not an 11-7, it's a 7-11. All 7-11 stores have the same sign.
Kaia: But HOW do you know?
Me: Well, you know that 2 plus 2 is 4, right? What if someone said they thought 2 plus 2 is 5? You would just KNOW that's it's not, it's 4, right?
Kaia: (grudgingly) yes...
Me: Well, you just have to realize that I have a bit more life experience than you, and I KNOW that is a 7-11, not an 11-7.
Kaia: Maybe it is...we don't know.
Me: *SIGH*

I can only hope this incessant questioning and disbelief will help her become a world famous scientist who discovers amazing things because she NEVER accepts someone else's answer for her truth.

Poems someone else wrote

These are some of the best parenting poems EVER.

http://www.sundrymourning.com/2008/11/12/re-run-parenting-poetry/

sorry it's not in pretty hyperlink form. I had a kidney stone this morning and I am tired. But do go read the poems.

Yoda and Luke Take Over The Hallways at Daddy's Work

This picture was taken late in The Great Candy Gather of 2008, so both Luke and Yoda are a bit worse for the wear.

Yoda, by the way, discovered a Great Love of Nestle's Crunch bars when his guardians mistakenly let him hold an unopened one. It took him about 3 minutes to chew through the wrapper and discover the Yummy Goodness Of Heavenly Chocolate Crunchiness, and his rage when it was removed from his Iron Grasp of Desperation was epic. He screeched, he yelled, he GROWLED, he sobbed. He was soon mollified with a chicken nugget, but his now-much-wiser guardians watched carefully for the rest of the night to make sure no candy stayed in his grasp long enough to be in any danger.

Luke wore her mask on the top of her head most of the night, to no surprise of her mother, who had repeatedly told her masks were unnecessary and just got in the way. Luke, with much determination and purpose, took very little time to plow down the Hallways of Free Treats, until her bag was quite heavy.

Her hand looks strangely fake here. It freaks me out a bit.
Both kids had a great time, though Yoda took a dive into a table and bumped the bridge of his nose, and yes, there was a bit of blood. He's fine now. Some candy was consumed, some laughter heard, some tears shed - by both kids. Halloween is fun, but I am happy to be done for this year. Except for the next few days of course....more candy to be eaten, argued about, and gleefully sorted through over and over...and over.

Have I mentioned how utterly awesome I think my daughter is?

Last week we went to a local art museum where they were having a crafts day - Halloween themed, of course. Wrote about it earlier...

So at the front desk, they had a plastic witch's cauldron with a sign that read "Reach in if you dare!" It took Kaia several minutes and many promises on my part before she reached in....and took out a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. She was delighted with the whole idea.

This morning she told me her plan. She wanted to make her own container of candy, with the same sign, and carry it with her while she went trick-or-treating. She decided that she wanted the people who were giving out candy to reach in (if they dared!) and get a treat of their own! So this Halloween, she'll be walking around trading treats with everyone. The candy she chose for her scary bucket is gummy body parts - fingers, toes, tongues, and other such horrible things. Perfect for a Reach In If You Dare bucket!

long overdue post

Wow. So life has gotten busy in the last couple of weeks! Here's a breakdown of my week -

On Sundays I work at the hospital for 4 hours.
On Mondays and Wednesdays I have Math class.
On Tuesdays and Thursdays I have Spanish.
On Wednesdays I go to the farm to get veggies. (only 4 more weeks of that I think)
Three to five days a week I go work out at the gym.
When I can, I do homework.
Monday through Friday I take Kaia to school, then pick her up in the afternoon.
Monday through Friday mornings I take Mike to work.
Tuesdays and Thursdays I pick Mike up from work after picking up Kaia from school.
Every night I cook dinner, usually from scratch.
I make bread 2-4 times a week (sometime I make the dough in the bread machine).
I try to do at least one mom's group event a week, though it usually works out to about two a month.
Add to this cleaning the house, cooking other meals, grocery shopping, and taking care of Ben every day!

We also just got our new really cool health insurance, so I am busily making and going to chiropractor, doctor, and dentist appointments for all four of us.

Now, I am by no means saying I am busier than most people. On the contrary, I know I am not. However, I am much busier than I used to be! And you know what I found out?! I like it! I am happier and far more content now than I was just a few weeks ago! I am looking forward to changes in the next year, but I am okay (for the first time in years) with exactly where I am now. This pleases me.

What plans, you ask? I'll tell you! (even if you didn't ask!)

This January our lease will be up. We are all looking forward to renting a house closer to Kaia's school and Mike's work. Here are our requirements in a house -

• 4 bedrooms, or 3 bedrooms and a close-off-able den/office
• I'd prefer only one story, but it's not necessary
• A big back yard!! Room for: a garden, a kids' play area, AND!! fully fenced, because...we are going to get a dog! We're going to search the shelters until we find the perfect one - small or medium-ish, good with kids, young enough to grow up with the kids, good with cats, and hopefully not too yappy.
  

Over the next year or so we will also be saving up for a down payment for when we are ready to buy a house, and continuing to pay off debt.

I will continue with school, and will be ready to apply for the Ultrasound Tech program starting in the fall of 2010. Mike is working with a couple different people on games. Kaia is still LOVING school, her teacher, and her friends. Ben is getting bigger and more interactive every day!

Life is good.

Adventures In Cooking

Kaia and I started a blog together! We'll both be posting in it, and it'll detail our adventures while I'm teaching Kaia how to cook. We are cooking dinners together on Saturday nights, and whenever we get a chance (hard with Ben when Mike's not home!)

The first recipe will be made tomorrow night, when we attempt home made tortillas for our burritos! Posts will include recipes, pictures, and a little bit from each of us about the experience and meal. We're both really excited to both be cooking together, and writing about it together! Stop by and tell us what you think!

www.cookingwithkaia.blogspot.com

How to Be a Perfect Hostess. Or Not.

Kaia and I sit on the floor with her pretend food and play.....


Kaia: I'm calling you on the phone...
Me: Okay. Hello?
Kaia: Hello! Would you like to come over for a visit tomorrow?
Me: Sure! What time?
Kaia: Umm....how about....4 in the morning.
Me: That's a little early for me.
Kaia: Okay, how about 4:30?
Me: I'm still asleep then! How about 9?
Kaia: Come over at 10.
Me: Okay. Can I bring anything?
Kaia: Bring whatever you like!
Me: Okay!
Kaia: I will tell you what I am allergic to.
Me: Oh...okay.
Kaia: Ummm...I am allergic to.....seeds...and nuts.
Me: Okay, I will not bring any seeds or nuts.
Kaia: And I should tell you, I am allergic to sugar carrots too. It says on the package if they are sugar carrots.
Me: Got it. No sugar carrots.
.
.
.
intermission while Kaia gathers up various foods to be cookies and I gather up a few fruits to bring.
.
.
.
Me: Okay, I am coming over!
Kaia: We haven't even gone to bed yet!
Me: I am so tired! I'm going to bed so I can be wide awake to visit Kaia tomorrow!
.
.
Me: Yawn! I slept well! Now I'll get ready to visit Kaia!
Kaia: Ring Ring!
Me: Hello?
Kaia: It'a a party now, not just a visit!
Me: Oh, okay! I'm coming over now!
Kaia: Okay.
.
.
Me: Hello! I am here for the party!
Kaia: Oh! Hello!
Me: I brought a watermelon, a peach, and a banana.
Kaia: What else?
Me: Nothing else...
Kaia: hmmm....(said quite disapprovingly)
Kaia: My son has wrecked the floor. Why don't we clean up before the party?
Me: Oh, okay.
Kaia: Or wait, why don't you leave and come back later. Come back at....umm....2!
Me: Oh, okay....I'll just leave the fruit I brought here then.
Kaia: Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

21st Century Girl

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.
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Kaia: Where did you find it?
Me: Online.
Kaia: What dot com?
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Reality Check

Two things. First, a funny thing my daughter said. Second, how I realized I needed to have it be said to ME.

So yesterday we're in the car on the way home. Ben is fussy because he's tired, and Kaia is grumpy because she had to leave her friend's house.

Kaia: Mom, Ben calms down when I pay attention to him. I think he just wants attention. (said in an exasperated tone)

Me: Okay, well, you could sing him a little song.

Kaia: I don't want to.

Me: Okay, you don't have to entertain him.

Kaia: (after a pause) Mom, can I tell him it's not all about HIM?

So, as I said in my whiny post, it could just be me taking things personally. And after a VERY nice email from the friend in question here is my conclusion.

I am extremely self-absorbed. Not all the time of course, but in situations like this. Because in the email she mentioned all the reasons -and almost all of them I was already aware of -that she has been busy: she's pregnant, has a 5 year old, her husband has been almost living at work (not willingly), she has a big over-seas trip coming up, she's had to plan and go to multiple doctor appointments for her and her family and her pets, and, not mentioned in her email, she has been helping out a neighbor whose back went out.

Yeah. Am I taking things too personally much? sheesh. Sometimes, I really just need to ask my daughter to tell me...

"Mom! It's not all about YOU!"

sleeping woes, continued

not good. I've set us back a bit in our efforts to help Ben go to sleep at night and at nap times.

First, last night I let him fall asleep on me for about 10 minutes. Before we put him to bed we woke him up and got him into jammies, but the damage was done. He had remembered how nice sleeping on Mama is, so he was FURIOUS when we put him in his crib. He cried for over an hour.

Then in the middle of the night sometime (no idea when, I wasn't coherent, or it wouldn't have even happened) he woke up and instead of letting him go back to sleep in his crib, out of old habit I got him out and fed him. Then he fell back asleep in our bed, so of course woke up a few times and wanted to eat again. At that point I knew it would be hopeless to put him back in his crib, so he spent the rest of the night with us. Which meant he ate a few times at night, instead of waiting until morning.

So now it is naptime again. He isn't pleased that we've gone back to the evils of solitary crib sleeping. I have to be diligent about not letting him sleep on or with me, even though now that it's not ALL THE FREAKIN' TIME it's sweet again. Last night when he fell asleep on me it was just so wonderful to cuddle with him again while he was asleep. I am sure I'll be able to do that again, after he's fully used to sleeping on his own. I really hope so, because the idea of NOT being able to is very sad. I like sleeping with my boyo, just not 24/7.

Right now, however, it's an all or nothing thing, or he gets confused. I can't wait for this transition to be over.

A little of this, a little of that

One of these days I will post about something NOT related to Ben's sleep habits -- promise! However, today is not the day. Or at least, this is not the post.

Last night Ben took about an hour to fall asleep. He woke up a few times after, but not as much as the night before. I definitely got more sleep! Not caught up by a long shot, but I am hopeful the next few nights will see even more improvement.

Today we added in scheduled naps, since Kaia's school is out for summer. Ben was sleeping in the car every time I took her to or from school, ruining any chance at a decent length nap. I am going to put him down every day around 10, then again in the afternoon (I'll figure out what time depending on how long he sleeps this morning). He's been fussing in there for about 5 minutes, but seems to be calming down.

Tomorrow is Tania's baby shower! In Canada, so I won't be there. I'm really disappointed I can't go, and so I'm trying to think of something fun Tania and I can do together at some point. I was thinking the other day that now that Ben is trying to sleep through the night, I probably could have gone, but it's a bit late, what with the no passport and no financial planning. By a "bit late", of course, I mean "there's no way in hell I could get a passport and plane ticket or gas money together if I started now". I know Tania will have a wonderful time though, and that's all that matters! *pout* (just kidding)

well, my house is a rat's nest, so I must get off my ass and do something about it. Sunday being Father's Day and all, I guess that means I should be treating my husband to a clean house and home cooked meals! wait, I do that anyway...the home cooked meals at least. The house isn't always...shall we say, photo-ready?!

Wish us luck with Ben, send him love.

And Tania--have a BLAST at your baby shower!!

Tough Love

Tonight is The Night. well, the First Night Of Hopefully Very Few Nights. Right now I am in the middle (the beginning?!) of listening to Ben cry, then calm down, then cry, then calm down....rinse, repeat. We are almost an hour and a half in, and at the moment he is silent. Poor Kaia is in her room with an Mp3 player and big headphones over the little ones, trying to sleep. I feel so bad for her, but this WILL be better. It will give us more time with her (we decided Ben's bedtime will be at 7, leaving us with some time with her before her summer bedtime of 8).

Starting Friday, we will also be doing naps in the crib. I can't before then because he sleeps in the car while I'm taking Kaia to and from school, but Thursday is her last day for the year.

He is still quiet....I am hopeful.....

I didn't want to do this, but I have to do something. I am not getting even close to enough sleep and it's starting to be dangerous. I NEED MORE SLEEP. His doctor confirmed that he doesn't need food at his age, he is simply in the habit of getting up several times to eat. As a commenter on another site said "If someone gave me a brownie every time I woke up at night, I'd be getting up 5-7 times too!" Speaking of brownies, Mike bought some mix earlier since we both thought Chocolate Fortification would be necessary.

Ben is STILL quiet. Mike and I are going to make brownies. Send Ben happy dreams, okay?