How to Be a Perfect Hostess. Or Not.

Kaia and I sit on the floor with her pretend food and play.....


Kaia: I'm calling you on the phone...
Me: Okay. Hello?
Kaia: Hello! Would you like to come over for a visit tomorrow?
Me: Sure! What time?
Kaia: Umm....how about....4 in the morning.
Me: That's a little early for me.
Kaia: Okay, how about 4:30?
Me: I'm still asleep then! How about 9?
Kaia: Come over at 10.
Me: Okay. Can I bring anything?
Kaia: Bring whatever you like!
Me: Okay!
Kaia: I will tell you what I am allergic to.
Me: Oh...okay.
Kaia: Ummm...I am allergic to.....seeds...and nuts.
Me: Okay, I will not bring any seeds or nuts.
Kaia: And I should tell you, I am allergic to sugar carrots too. It says on the package if they are sugar carrots.
Me: Got it. No sugar carrots.
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intermission while Kaia gathers up various foods to be cookies and I gather up a few fruits to bring.
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Me: Okay, I am coming over!
Kaia: We haven't even gone to bed yet!
Me: I am so tired! I'm going to bed so I can be wide awake to visit Kaia tomorrow!
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Me: Yawn! I slept well! Now I'll get ready to visit Kaia!
Kaia: Ring Ring!
Me: Hello?
Kaia: It'a a party now, not just a visit!
Me: Oh, okay! I'm coming over now!
Kaia: Okay.
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Me: Hello! I am here for the party!
Kaia: Oh! Hello!
Me: I brought a watermelon, a peach, and a banana.
Kaia: What else?
Me: Nothing else...
Kaia: hmmm....(said quite disapprovingly)
Kaia: My son has wrecked the floor. Why don't we clean up before the party?
Me: Oh, okay.
Kaia: Or wait, why don't you leave and come back later. Come back at....umm....2!
Me: Oh, okay....I'll just leave the fruit I brought here then.
Kaia: Yeah, that's what I was thinking.