Monday, January 08, 2007

well laid plans.....(aka, fantasy vs. reality in the mommy world)

Having "the talk" with my kids has never been a fear for me. I figured when they reached a certain age, they'd ask about....stuff....and I'd calmly and concisely tell them the truth. Sex to me isn't dirty, or wrong, and I always pictured this open, easy relationship with my kids that would allow heart to heart conversations on this and myriad other subjects.

I didn't really expect to have "the talk" for awhile yet, either. My daughter is FIVE.

Then, last night as we are driving home from Andrea and John's house....

Kaia: Mom?

Me: Yes, darlin'?

Kaia: How do babies get in their mommies tummies?

Me:...................................

Me:................................................

Kaia: Mom?

Me: I'm here, honey, hold on.

I look over at my husband driving, but he seems to be obliviously concentrating on the road. And somehow, at this age, my ideas of open and honest discussion seem a bit...well...too detailed. So I try to give her only what she asked, nothing more.

Me: They grow there sweetie. Their daddy puts something called sperm in the mommy, where there is a tiny tiny thing called an egg. They both travel into the uterus, which is way up inside the mommy, up in her private parts. The sperm and the egg get together and grow into a baby.

Kaia:....................................

Me: Does that make sense?

Kaia: Yes.

She's looking out the window.

Whew! I think, mentally patting myself on the back.

A minute or so passes.

Kaia: Mom?

Me: ummm....yes?

Kaia: HOW does the sperm get INTO the mommies private parts?!

oh shit. drat. thought I'd skated over that well. apparently not. silly mommy.

Me: Well.....umm....sometimes when mommies and daddies are in bed, they get together in a special way, and that's how.

Kaia: Oh. Okay.

So, not at my best. But I think I did okay. at least until she realizes she has no idea what "special way" I am talking about. Which could be any day now. I'm never off the hook for long with this child.

3 comments:

mom said...

if you could see me now I am the one screaming with laughter on the floor.......
this is a really SPECIAL time, isn't it? So sweet, so innocent, and then it hits the fan. Too bad sex isn't a lollipop, and one could simply say that and then ocunt on the Corner Drug not to sell one to your 5 year old.
......A woman can dream......!!

mom said...

I mean "COUNT" not ocunt--what are the chances that that particular misspelling would happen at this blog?!?
Major AARRGGHH

Andrea said...

you two are BOTH cracking me up!

By the way Della, I got those books... Haven't looked at them yet. I wonder if any of them would be suitable for Kaia. I am NOT looking forward to "the talk." Hopefully the books will help.