no glimpse today

We are lucky. I keep telling myself this. We live in a place where we have good health care when we need it.

My best friends' daughter just went in for surgery tonight. She has appendicitis and multiple abdominal cysts. She's ten years old, and is very scared. or was, she's in surgery right now. I feel so helpless, sitting here. Her little brother is upstairs, collaborating with Kaia about staying awake. I know this is a help, to have him here, and I am glad to do it. I want to do something else!! What!?!? I want to sit and wait with them, but I know that I am not needed there. That's ok, they have each other, and sitting there won't help anything. It's not a major surgery, but it's not minor either. She has a 50% chance of infection afterwards. What really sucks is that her symptoms were exactly like the flu, and any of us mothers would have done the same thing they did, which was treat her flu at home. Her mom feels guilty that she didn't bring her in sooner. I wish I could take that guilt away, convince her that she is the wonderful mom I know her to be. This is so scary, and I know I can't even feel a fraction of what they are feeling.

God, if you are there, you take care of this child. you hear me? You help the doctor to keep a steady hand, and you help him or her heal that girl. Please. please. and be there for her parents too. whether or not we believe in you in a clear way, or any way, if you are our creator, take care of us. take care of them. I know my prayer is not pretty or full of praise. I don't pray often. I don't know if there is anyone to pray to. good energy of the universe, gather at her side. fill her with healthy energy, with healing energy.

She will be fine. I know she will. People have surgery every minute. She will be fine, and have a scar to show off and tell the story of way back when....