Starting New

While I was excited to move here at the beginning of the year, there was one dark point. I had never moved anywhere (in my adult life) that I didn't already have a good friend. I hadn't really ever moved far away, except the last time, when we moved to Pullman, and there I had Andrea and John, and I really couldn't ask for better.

But here...here I had a few acquaintances, and a few relatives, both of which I am very happy for. But I missed having a good friend close by, someone to invite over even if my house was a mess, or to ask to babysit my kids while I had a doctor appointment, or to go grocery shopping with. Someone who had a kid or two who got along with my kid or two. Someone whose husband and my husband also like each other. Someone I felt at ease doing dishes in front of, or laundry. Someone whose house I could hang out in while she did dishes...or laundry.

I know it takes awhile to find this. I know I will, years from now, look back on this time and only dimly remember the loneliness. I will have made a few good friends, and my days will be full.

I think I have made the first few steps toward this. I have met a couple women I really like. I like their kids, I like their husbands (and so does Mike!)

I am so impatient. I want to hurry past these times of slight uncertainty. Do they like me too? Do they like my kids? I know they do...but do they like me A LOT?! Do they feel that they could be friends with me ten years from now? Twenty? I want to move into the level of comfortability I have with Kathy and Tania and Andrea. I realize I can't. I realize that takes time. Years.

But darn it. I want it NOW. (why am I so like a child sometimes?!)

and of course, in my duality, I am looking forward to the years of getting to know these women, when I stop to think about it. I look forward to watching their children grow with mine.

When I can remember to slow down, I can enjoy this time in our new friendship.