Someone who reads my blog recently told me that they (using "they" incorrectly so as not to use "he" or "she". sorry) wished they were happy all the time, like me. I was shocked, and assured them (you know what? Let's just call this person "Z".) So, I assured Z that I wasn't always happy, and had my bad days too. Z said that on my blog, I always write so positively, so happily about my day to day stuff. So, to keep it real, and to make Z feel better, I want to make something very clear.
I have bad days. I have nights where I cry in the bath (those aren't often). I have mornings where I am pissed off at various people and yell at them in my head. I have evenings when I really want someone to just come take these children somewhere for the night so I can SLEEP ALL NIGHT and maybe even late into the morning! I get irritated about my housework, husband, kids, parents, other friends and relatives.
There are two reasons why I don't talk much about all that here, other than a rant occasionally. The first one is that most of them read this blog, and I don't want to make our issues public, or I might not even really feel I want to get into it with them.
The second is the most important. I really feel that I create my reality. My thoughts and words move out into the universe and solidify, surrounding me with the colors and feelings of themselves. If I yell and bitch and whine all the time, the universe (through me) will only create more things to yell and bitch and whine about. If I smile, and laugh, and love those around me, that is also magnified.
Wait a minute before you hate me and think I'm all sanctimonious. I DO yell and bitch and whine. trust me, I DO. But when I can, and were I can (this blog) I TRY to limit it. I try to help the universe help me. I am getting better and better at it. I KNOW how lucky I am. I have a husband who loves me and our children. I have family and friends who have my back. I have two kids who are happy and healthy and growing.
and, Z...don't worry...it WILL get better. You're strong. And yo u have a happy Z inside you just waiting to break free and sing show tunes! or something.