WARNING: mucho bitching ahead....proceed at your own risk (or feel free to just skip it)

so I feel like bitching, and I do that way too much, but this is MY blog, and I can cry if I want to! But you don't have to read it if you don't want to. That's FREEDOM, people.

so...on with the bitch fest.

I am so damn tired of being poor. and yes yes YES, I know I am richer than most of the world ( I am, I did this online survey thing, apparently I make more than 97% of of the world's population) being AWARE that I am lucky...moving on with the whine...

I just got my hospital bills from a month or so ago. Though my insurance paid most of it (total bill OVER $6000!!!) I still owe almost $1300 to the hospital. Minimum payment is $126 a month. Since I am already almost a month behind as it is, from missing so much work, I fail to see where that $126 is coming from.

I also would like (though it's not a need) some shoes to wear while pregnant. I have some for this summer, but the ones I have while it's still cold aren't that great. But do I have $30 extra?! nope.

I can't wait to be able to, without hesitation, say "Yes!" when someone asks if we want to go out to dinner.

I can't wait to be able to get my eyebrows waxed every two weeks and not worry about the cost.

I can't wait to be able to order a sandwich delivered for lunch at work without feeling guilty about the money spent.

I can't wait to be able to buy something I see that I know a friend would like, just because I want to give them something.

I can't wait to be able to take my mother out to dinner. and only look at the total so that I can figure out tip.

I can't wait to be able to go grocery shopping whenever I need to, without having to wait for payday.

I can't wait until every pay check isn't spent the second we get it, on bills.

I can't wait to have money left over each month.

okay okay. I'm boring even myself. signing off.

Thursday....

only about 3 and a half more weeks to go of this dratted first trimester. I was feeling SO much better, but last night had to cancel plans to go make sushi at Andrea's because I was gagging every five minutes. Didn't actually throw up, but felt nasty. Feeling nasty this morning too, the first time I've felt nasty in the morning in a while.

I need to get my tomato plants transplanted into their second temporary home! Andrea brought me some pots, and I have the dirt...just need to get it done. Also, there are more seeds I need to start too. Need to do taxes too....and look up plane ticket prices for my sisters wedding, which I realized I hadn't really thought of practical ways to pay for...it'll happen though. It always works out.

I feel like I am neglecting my family. I'm not as worried about Mike, he's an adult, and can handle it, which he is admirably. Kaia, however, I feel bad about. I feel the worst in the evening, and usually have to just take a bath and head to bed. Last night I only got a few minutes with her before she went to eat dinner and I fell asleep. She seems to be doing fine....still cheerful and excited about the baby....maybe she'll enjoy helping me transplant the tomatoes.

Time seems to be flying by while at the same time creeping along. Katie's wedding is right around the corner, as is Mike's birthday. But this damn first trimester is taking forever!! I'm really glad it'll be over by Katie's wedding day. That's something I want to be able to wholeheartedly enjoy. Speaking of which, need to call the alteration place.....

.......
.......

okay, have an appointment today at 4 to get the top of the dress taken in. The skirt still fits fine, even a bit loosely.


okay, time to get to work...

bring on the energy!

Feeling SO much better today! The oatmeal Mike has been making in the mornings before I get up has really been helping I think.

working on cleaning up the store.....a task long overdue....

laziness, oatmeal, horses, and good times.

Had a wonderful weekend! Mike brought me oatmeal in bed both mornings (and today!) which really helped with the nausea for the first part of the day. On both days the afternoons were a bit worse, but not horrible.

Saturday I didn't get my to-do list done. Got some laundry washed, but none put away.

On Sunday, we went out to Andrea and John's. Andrea and I drove to Lewiston to get feed and baby turkeys, then Mike went riding! He had a really good time, it was the first time he's ridden since he was a kid.

We had yummy grilled salmon and corn on the cob for dinner. They have this tasty dressing called Goddess dressing that I need to get some of!

I love hanging out at Andrea's. I love the ease with with we all move about the property, just being friends, not doing anything in particular they wouldn't be doing anyway. I love seeing my daughter running around, getting absolutely filthy, and having a blast, outside for hours. I love how Andrea and Mike can go have fun together, and John and I get along so well too. I love having old friends. Friends I'll have for life.

Little Ballerina

Kaia's recital was actually a few weeks ago, but have just remembered to post some pictures of it...she had a lot of fun. She didn't have the same costume as the other girls in her group, since she joined after ordering time, but she handled that amazingly well, even though the costumes were something she would have loved to have, she didn't utter even one complaint.
Before the recital, I caught her her doin' some moves, purely "Kaia-style".

The group danced to "Tarzan" and looked adorable as usual. Mike wasn't happy at the beginning when he saw Kaia's group was number 27 out of 35, but after the first group of little girls trotted on stage, he started laughing, and began to enjoy the show.

Advice to doctors who want to remove warts from the foot of a five year old

Don't tell the child, from the get go, "it's going to hurt! I'll be right back with the liquid nitrogen!"

Don't say, after trying to freeze it off, and the child is still crying, "it can't STILL hurt!"

Don't offer the child a choice, "do you want to get rid of it, or keep it?"
it doesn't hurt, why does she care if she keeps it, when the alternative is pain?

Don't tell the child "anything we do to try to get rid of it will hurt"

Don't KEEP SAYING "it can't possibly still be hurting!" while the child is saying "oww...it's stinging really bad" and crying.

lollipops might work really well as bribes. better than saying "you have to get rid of it somehow, might as well be this way, since all the remedies hurt" MUCH BETTER, I would think, though since you didn't try it, I don't know for SURE.

yes yes, time for an update. the problem is there is not much new....

let's start with this past weekend though. Kaia and I spent it at Dana's, and had a blast. I got two scrapbook pages done, and two different types of mini scrapbooks that I will be using as gifts for relatives. Spending the weekend there definitely helped me keep my mind of feeling nasty.

however.

I still feel nasty. nasty nasty nasty. I am only hoping it will end at the usual time this sort of thing does--at the end of the first trimester. I am praying to the gods of...ummm...what sort of gods? the puke gods would MAKE you throw up, wouldn't they? the anti-puke gods? seems unlikely they exist...oh well...

I am also getting more and more tired. I just want to SLEEP damn it SLEEP. I wish I could leave work early and go SLEEP. But last month I missed a lot of work for hospital reasons and I have unpaid bills to show for it. Missing more work will not help with the catching up, though how I'm supposed to catch up when I am needed the current money for THIS months bills I don't know...

sigh. and I am getting bitchier by the minute, I swear. must stop whining!!!


(Andrea? Shane? aren't you so thrilled you asked me to blog again? was it everything you hoped? no? hhmmm...I'll try again later, I promise.)