It's Good

Please excuse the possible meandering that may follow...


When we moved here, I knew no one local. I had a few friends and relatives in nearby towns, but no one HERE. I was extremely lonely, and missed having the kind of friend you can invite over just to hang out.

So I joined a mom's group on meetup.com (highly recommend it!). The first group I joined started well, and I met some women I felt I would like to get to know. I also met a few women at Kaia's school that I really liked.

Some of those friendships worked, some didn't. I found that though I might really like someone, we just might not click, sometimes on my end, sometimes on hers (seemed for a bit to mostly lean the second way) Being a sensitive person emotionally (don't laugh! I am! :-)), I took it personally when someone didn't seem to want to get to know me better.

I had two main wishes. To find some couple friends with kids that we ALL enjoyed hanging out with, and to find some really wonderful women, just a few, that I really felt comfortable with and laughed with.

I have a hard time sometimes focusing on the positive. We met some really nice couples, and happily the women in those couples were awesome. We met some with kids our kids' ages, and some with kids older or younger. (we don't really hang out in circles with kid-less people, which is fine.) For awhile, I kept thinking how I really missed good friends, and still felt that the friends we had weren't our BEST friends. I kept wanting that perfect person who would be my best friend here.

In the last few weeks, we've met even more families that we really click with. We've decided to make an effort to invite someone over for dinner every weekend. The weekends we don't, or even the ones we do, but on other nights, we go to friends' for dinner. I've realized that EVERY weekend we have one OR MORE social things planned.

Even more surprisingly, I've realized I have been more picky with who I choose for friends now. I simply don't HAVE TIME for a lot more. I have found a few women I adore, and feel really comfortable with. Mike gets along really well with them, and more importantly, their husbands. Our kids get along, and their kids aren't brats. We have to actually DISCUSS who we should invite over this weekend for dinner, and often have to decline invites because we are already booked!

We have become SOCIAL. We have made FRIENDS. I am a bit taken by surprise that my goals have been more than reached. I am really happy in our social life, and so lucky in the friends I have found. I can let the hurts go for the ones that don't want to get closer, because really? I don't need them. It's a good feeling.

I am happy. truly content with my life here, and it's only getting better.

an update

since I haven't posted in forever...a post to try to at least get some things down before I forget them.

• Ben says "are you?" instead of "where are you?" I love the existentialist quirkiness of it.
• Kaia has been taking excellent care of her friend Ben's rats for the past week. They are cute, but MY GOD THE STINK!
• Ben has been saying "up! down!" and "1!2!" and "lay down!" and all sorts of other concept type things. He also loves "GO AWAY!"
• Kaia is moving out of the constantly morose phase! She is frequently cheerful, and has even said "yes, mom" and not argued a few times!
• Ben is in a hitting phase. I have not found a punishment that does not make his laugh.
• Kaia lost 3/4 of the stuff in her room. Though I said I would slowly give it back, she has not seemed to miss any of it, except her art stuff, and her room has stayed looking like a room, rather than a tornado site.
• Ben is doing awesome in his mattress-on-the-floor bed. Even when he protests sleeping, he stays in bed.
• Kaia just got her first legos. (damn, they're expensive!) She has spent several hours already building things, and they are a toy I will happily spend money on in the future.
• Both kids slept with us last night to take advantage of our one fan. I love having my whole family in the same room, all snuggily together. Our king size bed helps make it a happy thing, and not a get-your-elbow-out-of-my-ribs thing.
• Mike has next week off, and we are staying home! We will be going to parks and such, but mostly relaxing and spending time together. I am going to try to talk him into severely cutting our computer time that week.
• Kaia's reading skills are through the roof. Except for an occasionally mispronounced word, you'd never know she was only 8 if you heard her read. There are adults who consider themselves educated who can't read as well.
• Ben also loves to read. We'll sit in the car waiting for Mike after work, and we'll all be looking at books. I love it.
• Kaia starts school in a few weeks with her new teacher. She's unhappy about it, and I hope that her new teacher is better than anticipated.
• Ben knows his colors if you have him show you "red", etc, but not if you say "what color is this?" He can show you red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple (sometimes). He still thinks anything other than "one" is "two".
• Kaia learned how to do the "twist" the other day, as well as the arm motions for "YMCA". She's very proud, and will do them for you if you ask. or even if you don't!
  

Sowwy

Teaching a toddler to say sorry is an uncertain endeavor. Sure, you can tell them, "say sorry!" and they do, smiling sweetly at whoever they just hit/kicked/bit. But do they know that they are expressing anything other than a two syllable word? Not really. But you hope to at least instill the habit so that when they do figure it out, they know when to say it.

Early this morning, at about 4:30am, Ben woke up, as usual, and wanted to get into bed with us. Usually he falls right back to sleep and we cuddle until a decent waking hour. This morning, he was mad. He didn't want to go back to sleep, he wanted "UP!" and..."EAT!" He yelled and cried and slapped Mike on the chest as hard as he could, then collapsed against my side, crying. After a few minutes, he calmed down, and lay there for a moment. Then he rolled over, and without being asked said "sowwy" to his daddy. It was one of the sweetest things ever.

Lazy Bullet Update

• My tallest pea plants are almost as tall as me and have blossoms!
• We start Phase One of Making My House NOT Look Like I'm Twenty And Just Moved Out on Saturday!!!
• This school quarter is almost over! Then I only have three more...until I enter the two year ultrasound tech program...
• My other plants are doing well, if a bit sporadic in their sprouting.
• I met my brother's baby's mom this past weekend. From the little time I had with her, I like her okay. We didn't click well enough that I'm disappointed they aren't together, but enough to be okay with her being the mother of my niece (like I have a choice, of course!)
• there isn't a whole lot more in my life that is exciting, so I think I'll end this post!
  

what education does...

Last Monday, our family all lounged about on the back deck. Kaia and Ben ran around the yard while Mike and I watched. At one point Kaia started running around with a stick, pointing it at imaginary bears and saying "Pow! Pow! Kill!! Kill! Die!"
I asked her to refrain from pretending to kill things. She said... (ready? you're not)

"But we're farmers! We grow all our own fruits and vegetables, but if I don't go hunting, my family won't have protein!"

game, set, match.

The most I could do at this point was request that the words "die" and "kill" not be used, and that she better use the WHOLE bear.

An Afternoon in Seattle

So these pictures are out of order, but I want to show some of the pictures from our Ride The Ducks. The "ducks" are vehicles in Seattle that are tour bus type things that take you around Seattle then into the water and around the water a bit. Pretty cool. So here we go. and by the way, I have no idea why all my words are underlined.
That (oh. hmm..the line is gone. how odd.) anyway. That tree is made from metal. Cool from a sculpture point of view.
This one of the girls was taken on the way back. The rain and wind had been coming in for over an hour, and they were getting cold.

"the girls" are Kaia and her friend A, both very strong willed girls who seem to want to be best friends while arguing about EVERYTHING they do.

Ben and I in the "duck" while still on land. He was really well behaved considering the ride was during naptime.

The anatomically correct statue in the middle of a fountain downtown.

Our driver, Captain Who-Ha. He was awesome, very friendly, extremely knowledgeable, and all around cool.

Ben with his Quacker, very cook toys that make quacking sounds. I bought 3. one for each kid, and one for me!

The girls at the beginning of the ride, with quackers of their own. yes, the quackers became annoying. but they are still marvelous.

multi-tasking!

Playing the piano kept Ben occupied long enough to actually produce something in the potty. He thought it was the coolest thing, to poop and play piano at the same time!!