here is the completely un-exaggerated conversation that happens whenever Kaia is supposed to be doing a chore--and this is the very short, simple one of putting clothes from the washer into the dryer.....
me: "Are your clothes ready to be put into the dryer?"
her: "I don't know." (continues playing)
me: "Check, please."
her: SIGH. wanders toward the garage. gets distracted, starts playing.
me: "clothes, Kaia."
her: "I am!" opens garage door, heads out.
five minutes later...
her: coming out of garage singing to herself. wanders around.
me: "were they ready to be put into the dryer?"
her: "oh! I don't know..." wanders back into the garage.
five minutes later...
her: coming out of garage "I don't know where a laundry basket is"
me: in my room, dump the dirty clothes in front of the washer and use it for the clean ones"
her: dragging the hamper through the living room, gets distracted showing Ben how to take care of his baby.
me: "clothes, Kaia!"
her: "Ben doesn't know how to take care of his baby! I care about babies, don't you!?!!?"
me: " not pretend ones when you are supposed to be doing chores."
her: "MOM!! that's horrible that you don't care about babies!!!"
me: "CLOTHES, KAIA!"
her: "OKAY!" drags hamper into garage
TEN minutes later, comes out of garage
me: "where are the clean ones from the dryer?"
her: "oh, right...." wanders back into garage, comes out dragging a hamper with clean clothes. I hear no dryer sounds.
me: "did you start the dryer?"
her: "no, I haven't put my clothes in yet!"
me: " leave that here, go do so."
her: "okay" wanders back into garage.
a LONG TIME later...she comes back out
her: "can you help me? It's hard."
me: "no, you can do it. NOW GO DO SO!!"
her: "I have a stomach ache"
me: "I'm sorry to hear that. After you put your clothes into the dryer, you can rest."
her: moaning as she goes back in..."you don't even care that I'm sick!"
A VERY LONG TIME later...she comes back out.
her: "THERE. I'm DONE."
me: "remember to take this hamper into my room, please"
her: GROAN, MOAN, WHIMPER "but my TUMMY HURTS!"
me: "just do it"
she takes the hamper in, limping and moaning. coming back out...
her: "am I done now?"
me: "yes, finally"
here: "BEN!! let's play now!!" and runs off.
Showing posts with label Kaia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kaia. Show all posts
Monday, January 04, 2010
Friday, October 30, 2009
My Day So Far
7am: silent argument with husband about who gets up with Ben. We both lost.
7:15am: all 3 kids are up (we are watching an adorable and well-behaved 2 year old girl) and wanting breakfast. dogs too.
9am: husband is dressed in Halloween best and leaves for work.
9:30am: all 3 kids are changed, dressed and ready to go start errands. Kaia argues over necessity of wearing a coat. Kaia asks to wear bathrobe instead of a coat. due to bad attitude, she is denied.
9:40am: in the car, I explain The Plan: bank, haircut, groceries. I notice the tank is on empty. New Plan: bank, gas, haircut, groceries.
9:45am: bank trip goes well.
9:50am: at gas station, notice the tank key is missing. drive home, notice extra is missing. call husband, find out he has the extra (and no idea where the first one is, claims innocence).
10am: On E, drive to husband's work, pick up key, return to gas station, fill up.
10:15am: on the way to the haircut, Kaia has second thoughts. claims to no longer want haircut or costume choice. discussion concludes with a return to The Plan. continue on to hair salon.
10:25am: at hair salon, Kaia frowns at me worriedly during her shampoo, and stares suspiciously at the woman cutting her hair. Darling Girl that I am watching sits quietly and plays with the toys. Boyo transforms into a tornado and begins to make multiple attempts at escape.
10:30am: I catch boyo as he races past. He falls to the ground then yells "DON'T THROW ME!" this is then repeated every time I catch him. After the first few times of saying" I am NOT throwing you! YOU FELL ON PURPOSE" I figure it's useless and just stay silent.
10:45am: Kaia's cut is done, she looks adorable. She glowers at me as I pay, seeming to have totally forgotten this was HER idea and she was in no way forced to get her hair cut.
10:50am: in the car, Kaia bursts into tears after realizing that her hair will remain short even AFTER Halloween. I had not considered that this was a necessary fact to state. I was wrong.
11am: I decide NOT to go to the store, as toddlers and child are hungry and tired. I make an executive decision and stop at Taco Bell. Kaia decides she no longer wants her usual, and takes forever to decide what to try. finally at the threat of nothing she orders nachos.
11:05am: on the way home, we spot a Pomeranian loose in the street. Kaia becomes extremely upset thinking about its possible fate, and I pull into a safe spot and get out. Pomeranian looks at me and takes off in the opposite direction.
11:06am: daughter is in tears about the damn dog's Certain Death by Car, so I grab a piece of Taco Bell food and head off after it, calling "here Pommy Pommy!" it stops until I am a few feet from it, then trots off. I look back at Kaia's tear filled face and know I must follow the darn thing. I do, for another block.
11:07am: a cop passes by, then turns around. He parks in the middle of the road and attempts to capture the Dog Twit. he fails, and turns to me. I assure him of my non-ownership, therefore letting him know it was NOT ME who has a loose dog, and we continue to chase the moronic beast. The dog and the cop disappear around the corner.
11:08am: not wanting to lose sight of the car, I turn back, and realize I've gone 4 blocks. CRAP. I start to run, but not being in any shape at all, stop after half a block so I can breathe instead.
11:09am: cop pulls up beside me, tells me the dog ran back into its house through an open door, and he has ascertained its right to be there. He thanks me for my help and drives away.
11:10am: in the car, Kaia cries while relating "what COULD have happened" and I try to console her and remind her of what DID happen--the dog was returned safely home.
11:15am: we return home and I dole out the food. Darling Girl that I am watching decides Taco Bell is not for her. Kaia decides the nachos are too hot, so eats Darling Girl's food. Ben is happy with whatever.
11:20am: after much discussion, mac and cheese are decided upon for Darling Girl. Ben wants some too.
11:40am: I take Ben and put him down for his nap, read him a story and return to kitchen. I send Kaia and Darling Girl to the bedroom for some quiet time.
11:45am: I get a call from Darling Girl's mom. She has missed her flight by 20 seconds and is totally stressing out. I reassure her another night is fine.
11:50am: I spend about 10 minutes in my room, relaxing and getting some stuff done (meaning: I read email and veg out!)
12:00pm: I return to kitchen to discover Ben has dragged a chair out, gotten some sunscreen and is decorating the chair and floor liberally. I clean him up, send him back to bed, and clean up the chair, floor, etc.
12:02pm: I send Ben back to bed.
12:05pm: I send Ben back to bed.
12:06pm: I spend 15 minutes holding Ben's door closed. He tries to get out 3 times.
12:20pm: I put a gate in his doorway and check on Kaia and Darling Girl. They are fine, and working on making an art project.
12:50pm: I get a cat visiting job. :-)
1:40pm: Ben wakes up WAY too early and joins the girls in front of Kipper.
1:45pm: Ben asks for more crackers. I ask Kaia to please get him some. She claims to "not be in the mood". I inform her this is not optional. Ben cries. I intervene.
here is the plan for the rest of the day. guesses on how smoothly it will go?
2pm: attempt to put Darling Girl down for a nap.
3:30m-get Halloween costumes on 3 children, and possibly self.
4:00pm-meet Mike at his work and walk kids around as they get candy.
5 or so-return home, attempt to make some sort of dinner.
5:30pm- Kaia and I are going to a corn maze and hoping to actually find her friends BEFORE entering it.
later- finally go grocery shopping.
even later--SLEEP! (after probably the consuming of alcoholic beverages)
7:15am: all 3 kids are up (we are watching an adorable and well-behaved 2 year old girl) and wanting breakfast. dogs too.
9am: husband is dressed in Halloween best and leaves for work.
9:30am: all 3 kids are changed, dressed and ready to go start errands. Kaia argues over necessity of wearing a coat. Kaia asks to wear bathrobe instead of a coat. due to bad attitude, she is denied.
9:40am: in the car, I explain The Plan: bank, haircut, groceries. I notice the tank is on empty. New Plan: bank, gas, haircut, groceries.
9:45am: bank trip goes well.
9:50am: at gas station, notice the tank key is missing. drive home, notice extra is missing. call husband, find out he has the extra (and no idea where the first one is, claims innocence).
10am: On E, drive to husband's work, pick up key, return to gas station, fill up.
10:15am: on the way to the haircut, Kaia has second thoughts. claims to no longer want haircut or costume choice. discussion concludes with a return to The Plan. continue on to hair salon.
10:25am: at hair salon, Kaia frowns at me worriedly during her shampoo, and stares suspiciously at the woman cutting her hair. Darling Girl that I am watching sits quietly and plays with the toys. Boyo transforms into a tornado and begins to make multiple attempts at escape.
10:30am: I catch boyo as he races past. He falls to the ground then yells "DON'T THROW ME!" this is then repeated every time I catch him. After the first few times of saying" I am NOT throwing you! YOU FELL ON PURPOSE" I figure it's useless and just stay silent.
10:45am: Kaia's cut is done, she looks adorable. She glowers at me as I pay, seeming to have totally forgotten this was HER idea and she was in no way forced to get her hair cut.
10:50am: in the car, Kaia bursts into tears after realizing that her hair will remain short even AFTER Halloween. I had not considered that this was a necessary fact to state. I was wrong.
11am: I decide NOT to go to the store, as toddlers and child are hungry and tired. I make an executive decision and stop at Taco Bell. Kaia decides she no longer wants her usual, and takes forever to decide what to try. finally at the threat of nothing she orders nachos.
11:05am: on the way home, we spot a Pomeranian loose in the street. Kaia becomes extremely upset thinking about its possible fate, and I pull into a safe spot and get out. Pomeranian looks at me and takes off in the opposite direction.
11:06am: daughter is in tears about the damn dog's Certain Death by Car, so I grab a piece of Taco Bell food and head off after it, calling "here Pommy Pommy!" it stops until I am a few feet from it, then trots off. I look back at Kaia's tear filled face and know I must follow the darn thing. I do, for another block.
11:07am: a cop passes by, then turns around. He parks in the middle of the road and attempts to capture the Dog Twit. he fails, and turns to me. I assure him of my non-ownership, therefore letting him know it was NOT ME who has a loose dog, and we continue to chase the moronic beast. The dog and the cop disappear around the corner.
11:08am: not wanting to lose sight of the car, I turn back, and realize I've gone 4 blocks. CRAP. I start to run, but not being in any shape at all, stop after half a block so I can breathe instead.
11:09am: cop pulls up beside me, tells me the dog ran back into its house through an open door, and he has ascertained its right to be there. He thanks me for my help and drives away.
11:10am: in the car, Kaia cries while relating "what COULD have happened" and I try to console her and remind her of what DID happen--the dog was returned safely home.
11:15am: we return home and I dole out the food. Darling Girl that I am watching decides Taco Bell is not for her. Kaia decides the nachos are too hot, so eats Darling Girl's food. Ben is happy with whatever.
11:20am: after much discussion, mac and cheese are decided upon for Darling Girl. Ben wants some too.
11:40am: I take Ben and put him down for his nap, read him a story and return to kitchen. I send Kaia and Darling Girl to the bedroom for some quiet time.
11:45am: I get a call from Darling Girl's mom. She has missed her flight by 20 seconds and is totally stressing out. I reassure her another night is fine.
11:50am: I spend about 10 minutes in my room, relaxing and getting some stuff done (meaning: I read email and veg out!)
12:00pm: I return to kitchen to discover Ben has dragged a chair out, gotten some sunscreen and is decorating the chair and floor liberally. I clean him up, send him back to bed, and clean up the chair, floor, etc.
12:02pm: I send Ben back to bed.
12:05pm: I send Ben back to bed.
12:06pm: I spend 15 minutes holding Ben's door closed. He tries to get out 3 times.
12:20pm: I put a gate in his doorway and check on Kaia and Darling Girl. They are fine, and working on making an art project.
12:50pm: I get a cat visiting job. :-)
1:40pm: Ben wakes up WAY too early and joins the girls in front of Kipper.
1:45pm: Ben asks for more crackers. I ask Kaia to please get him some. She claims to "not be in the mood". I inform her this is not optional. Ben cries. I intervene.
here is the plan for the rest of the day. guesses on how smoothly it will go?
2pm: attempt to put Darling Girl down for a nap.
3:30m-get Halloween costumes on 3 children, and possibly self.
4:00pm-meet Mike at his work and walk kids around as they get candy.
5 or so-return home, attempt to make some sort of dinner.
5:30pm- Kaia and I are going to a corn maze and hoping to actually find her friends BEFORE entering it.
later- finally go grocery shopping.
even later--SLEEP! (after probably the consuming of alcoholic beverages)
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
an update
since I haven't posted in forever...a post to try to at least get some things down before I forget them.
- Ben says "are you?" instead of "where are you?" I love the existentialist quirkiness of it.
- Kaia has been taking excellent care of her friend Ben's rats for the past week. They are cute, but MY GOD THE STINK!
- Ben has been saying "up! down!" and "1!2!" and "lay down!" and all sorts of other concept type things. He also loves "GO AWAY!"
- Kaia is moving out of the constantly morose phase! She is frequently cheerful, and has even said "yes, mom" and not argued a few times!
- Ben is in a hitting phase. I have not found a punishment that does not make his laugh.
- Kaia lost 3/4 of the stuff in her room. Though I said I would slowly give it back, she has not seemed to miss any of it, except her art stuff, and her room has stayed looking like a room, rather than a tornado site.
- Ben is doing awesome in his mattress-on-the-floor bed. Even when he protests sleeping, he stays in bed.
- Kaia just got her first legos. (damn, they're expensive!) She has spent several hours already building things, and they are a toy I will happily spend money on in the future.
- Both kids slept with us last night to take advantage of our one fan. I love having my whole family in the same room, all snuggily together. Our king size bed helps make it a happy thing, and not a get-your-elbow-out-of-my-ribs thing.
- Mike has next week off, and we are staying home! We will be going to parks and such, but mostly relaxing and spending time together. I am going to try to talk him into severely cutting our computer time that week.
- Kaia's reading skills are through the roof. Except for an occasionally mispronounced word, you'd never know she was only 8 if you heard her read. There are adults who consider themselves educated who can't read as well.
- Ben also loves to read. We'll sit in the car waiting for Mike after work, and we'll all be looking at books. I love it.
- Kaia starts school in a few weeks with her new teacher. She's unhappy about it, and I hope that her new teacher is better than anticipated.
- Ben knows his colors if you have him show you "red", etc, but not if you say "what color is this?" He can show you red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple (sometimes). He still thinks anything other than "one" is "two".
- Kaia learned how to do the "twist" the other day, as well as the arm motions for "YMCA". She's very proud, and will do them for you if you ask. or even if you don't!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
what education does...
Last Monday, our family all lounged about on the back deck. Kaia and Ben ran around the yard while Mike and I watched. At one point Kaia started running around with a stick, pointing it at imaginary bears and saying "Pow! Pow! Kill!! Kill! Die!"
I asked her to refrain from pretending to kill things. She said... (ready? you're not)
"But we're farmers! We grow all our own fruits and vegetables, but if I don't go hunting, my family won't have protein!"
game, set, match.
The most I could do at this point was request that the words "die" and "kill" not be used, and that she better use the WHOLE bear.
I asked her to refrain from pretending to kill things. She said... (ready? you're not)
"But we're farmers! We grow all our own fruits and vegetables, but if I don't go hunting, my family won't have protein!"
game, set, match.
The most I could do at this point was request that the words "die" and "kill" not be used, and that she better use the WHOLE bear.
Friday, January 02, 2009
Hair-editary Trait
Both my husband and my daughter have a loose-hair phobia. Maybe not technically a phobia since they are not frightened of loose hair...they are disgusted by it.
I first noticed this in Mike when I had long hair. If I had a loose hair on my shirt, I would pick it off and drop it on the floor. Mike would freak out, get up, search until he found the hair, and throw it in the garbage. I thought it odd, but funny. (Is it just coincidence he finds short hair sexier than long hair?!)
Ever since Kaia was a toddler, and before she could even really talk, she would freak out if hair was in her food or on her person. She would hold out the piece of food, or her finger, and act as if there was a dead tarantula there that I must remove IMMEDIATELY or chaos would ensue. She could find the most tiny pieces of hair ever. If there was any sort of fuzz on her food or self, she'd find it. She is still that way. She hates to find loose hairs anywhere and will demand their instant removal, preferably to be burned or sent out to space, so she will never have to encounter them again.
I have seen both of them actually gag at the discovery of loose hairs in an unexpected place. They cringe when I drop it on the floor, where they could accidentally STEP on it, or worse, pick it up with their socks.
I am constantly surprised by what we pass on to our kids.
I first noticed this in Mike when I had long hair. If I had a loose hair on my shirt, I would pick it off and drop it on the floor. Mike would freak out, get up, search until he found the hair, and throw it in the garbage. I thought it odd, but funny. (Is it just coincidence he finds short hair sexier than long hair?!)
Ever since Kaia was a toddler, and before she could even really talk, she would freak out if hair was in her food or on her person. She would hold out the piece of food, or her finger, and act as if there was a dead tarantula there that I must remove IMMEDIATELY or chaos would ensue. She could find the most tiny pieces of hair ever. If there was any sort of fuzz on her food or self, she'd find it. She is still that way. She hates to find loose hairs anywhere and will demand their instant removal, preferably to be burned or sent out to space, so she will never have to encounter them again.
I have seen both of them actually gag at the discovery of loose hairs in an unexpected place. They cringe when I drop it on the floor, where they could accidentally STEP on it, or worse, pick it up with their socks.
I am constantly surprised by what we pass on to our kids.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
In Hopes She Will Always Talk With Me
Sitting on the couch today:
Kaia: I hurt my elbow! It hurts like hell!
Me: (stifling a giggle) That's a word you don't use in public, okay?
Kaia: Okay...what about the other word?
Me: What other word?
Kaia: It's a bad word....
Me: It's okay, you can say it right now.
Kaia: Heck.
Me: Well, actually, that's a better word than hell to use in public.
Kaia: Oh...what about the "B" word?
Me: B1tch?
Kaia: What does bitch mean?
Me: Well, two things, really, (I explain the two meanings)
Kaia: Do you know what the "F" word is? (she is excited to be discussing verboten things)
Me: F*ck?
Kaia: Yes! and this means it too! (she flips me off)
Me: That means f*ck you.
Kaia: Fckyoo?
Me: ......Yes.
Kaia: (eyes sparkling) I know the "h" word!
Me: (thinking we'd already gone over this one) What?
Kaia: Hate! and I know the "S" word!
Me: Oh yes?
Kaia: Stupid!
Me: Yeah, those aren't very nice words.
Kaia: Dumb isn't either.
Me: Very true.
and yes, we talked about when and where these words shouldn't be said.
Kaia: I hurt my elbow! It hurts like hell!
Me: (stifling a giggle) That's a word you don't use in public, okay?
Kaia: Okay...what about the other word?
Me: What other word?
Kaia: It's a bad word....
Me: It's okay, you can say it right now.
Kaia: Heck.
Me: Well, actually, that's a better word than hell to use in public.
Kaia: Oh...what about the "B" word?
Me: B1tch?
Kaia: What does bitch mean?
Me: Well, two things, really, (I explain the two meanings)
Kaia: Do you know what the "F" word is? (she is excited to be discussing verboten things)
Me: F*ck?
Kaia: Yes! and this means it too! (she flips me off)
Me: That means f*ck you.
Kaia: Fckyoo?
Me: ......Yes.
Kaia: (eyes sparkling) I know the "h" word!
Me: (thinking we'd already gone over this one) What?
Kaia: Hate! and I know the "S" word!
Me: Oh yes?
Kaia: Stupid!
Me: Yeah, those aren't very nice words.
Kaia: Dumb isn't either.
Me: Very true.
and yes, we talked about when and where these words shouldn't be said.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
who thought up this ridiculous redsuited person, anyway?!
Over the years, I've waffled about what I want to tell my kids about Santa. Originally, I didn't really want to buy into the whole thing, didn't want to lie to my kids about a jolly (though mall santas are rarely jolly) bearded man breaking into our house through our chimney (which we don't have) and leaving presents, presents we are allowed to open and eat if they are candy, despite ALSO telling them that eating candy from strangers is ABSOLUTELY NOT OKAY, NO NOT EVER.
Anyway. But as my daughter began talking, I realized that if I didn't tell her Santa exists, I have to tell her he doesn't, since talk of Santa in any group of children is rampant near Christmas. And if you know your average 3 and 4 year old, you know what THAT would mean..."MY mom says Santa isn't real!" So that option was out.
Then I adopted a "less said the better" attitude. I didn't deny Santa his gift bringing myths, I just downplayed them. We didn't go see Santa at the mall (easier to do in Pullman, a small town with no malls. There is a mall in the nearby town, but it was easily avoided.) When questioned, I briefly mentioned how Santa brought stockings that he laid on the ends of childrens' beds at night. For the first couple of years this worked. Santa was in charge of the stockings, the presents under the tree were from mom, dad, and The Grandmas.
Then the year Kaia was 5, it all unravelled on me. We had gone to my mom's house for Christmas. All the presents were wrapped, under the tree, and had been intimately scrutinized by one very precocious 5 year old. As I tucked her into bed, it happened. "Mom," she said. "I can't wait to see what Santa brings me."
"Remember, Sweetie?" I told her, then kissed her forehead. "Santa will bring your stocking, all filled with fun things, and put it on your bed for you to find in the morning!"
"Yes," She said, and grinned. "But Elizabeth at school said Santa ALSO brings the BEST presents and puts them under the tree! I can't WAIT to see what he puts under the tree for me!"
I managed a weak smile. "Okay dear, see you in the morning! I love you, good night."
Shit. What was I supposed to do?! Tell her, well, yes, Santa brings ELIZABETH the best present under the tree AND her stocking, but for you? Just a stocking. Santa must not love you as much as he loves Elizabeth. At that moment, I couldn't think of anything good. So into my mom's room I ran. "Mom! Quick, is there anything you have that we could wrap up for Santa to give Kaia? She's already seen all the presents under the tree, so I can't change a label!" I related then story of Elizabeth and her materialistic Santa (no, I wasn't irritated at all) and she sprung to action, like she always has when I need help. She searched her closet for any little things she had put away for possible gifts later. She came up with a coffee mug that had an Indian horse on it, a matching book, and a chunk of amethyst. "Perfect!" I said. We wrapped them all up in different paper than any of the gifts already displayed, and put them under the tree, proudly displaying their "For Kaia! From Santa!" labels.
It worked. For Kaia at age 5, a mug, a book, and a purple rock could equal "the BESTEST presents" under the tree. She was thrilled with Santa and his strange habits.
So over the next couple of years, Santa put things under the tree. I still didn't mention him if I could help it, and we never went to a mall.
This year, Kaia is 7. And she is full of certain knowledges of what Santa can do. Which is anything he wants to. So this year? She asked for a Bolt bike. Bolt is the new animated movie from Disney, it came out on Thanksgiving, though we won tickets to an advance showing. And guess what? It's not in any way an important enough movie for them to design bicycles with a Bolt theme. There's a few shirts out there, and overpriced plush toys. I told her Santa may not be able to find a Bolt bike, if they haven't made them. She scornfully told me Santa is magic, and can do anything he wants, which most certainly includes the simple task of designing and bringing her a Bolt bike. (I mean, sheesh, her friend Liam? Believes wholeheartedly that Santa is bringing him a room-cleaning robot. Next to that, what's a Bolt bike or two?)
I have assured her that even if Santa does not bring a Bolt bike, he will find the very best bike for her. She remains unconvinced. Andrea (Liam's mom), suggested buying a plain bike and Bolt decals and decorating it myself. Excellent idea!!! Saved!! Or...not. No Bolt decals available.
Then we went to the mall to make gingerbread houses. And guess who was there? yep. In all his redsuited whitebearded glory. And since he had no idea what Kaia meant when she said "I want a bolt bike, okay? thanks!" he simply smiled, nodded, and looked for the next child. She was ecstatic. Santa confirmed her belief! I sighed, took her hand, and reiterated that though I was sure Santa would look high and low, IF he couldn't find a Bolt bike, he would bring her a wonderful bike nonetheless.
Thursday we went to another mall to ride the quarter rides while we waited to go pick up Mike before our doctor appointments. I breathed a sigh of relief as we walked by the empty set-up where Santa would later sit. Kaia wasn't worried, she'd already sat in the fat man's lap and been absentmindedly promised her dream bike.
Then a bit later, we walked by it again. And lo and behold, Santa was JUST THEN sitting down for his evening shift. There were no other kids in sight. The costumed man, at the beginning of his shift, was still jolly. I hadn't even noticed him, but Kaia of course stopped dead in the middle of the hall and grinned at him. Earlier she had found a fake poinsettia blossom on the floor, and was carrying it lovingly with her, grand plans of room decoration in mind. Santa twinkled at her, and crooked his finger... come here! She looked at me for permission (good girl!) and ran to him, the only child around, except for Ben, and plopped herself down. Santa had time to chat. "Have you been a good girl?"
She nodded enthusiastically. "Yep!" Then she had an idea. "Here, Santa, this is for you!" She handed him the bedraggled poinsettia flower.
Santa looked surprised. "Thank you!"
Kaia grinned at him. And he asked the Question. Her answer was the same. He looked a little perplexed, not knowing what a "boltbike" might be. I saw my chance. "I'm sure that Santa will bring you a wonderful bike, even if it's not a Disney's Bolt bike!" I smiled encouragingly at Santa. Being a bit more awake than the previous one, he smiled back. "That's right" he said, not really understanding but realizing I need help, and handed her a candy cane. Ben had climbed up onto the stage and stood about 2 feet from Santa, staring transfixed. Santa handed him a candy cane too, winning Ben over for life.
We walked away, the kids eating their canes, and Kaia talked about how much nicer this Santa was than the other one. The idea of multiple Santas is fine with her. Then I found out why.
"Now I'm getting TWO BOLT BIKES!!!!" She said, skipping happily toward the door. "I told TWO Santas!"
I quickly nixed that whole idea by explaining that Santas talked to each other through email, so ONE bike POSSIBLY NOT BOLT, would be waiting under the tree.
She is still firmly convinced she will get a Bolt bike. I hope this doesn't ruin Christmas for her. Since we're not religious, Christmas is, unfortunately, still about presents to her. Yes, she's excited to see family. Yes, she's excited to GIVE gifts. But, mostly? She's excited about her Bolt bike.
Santa? God? Flying Spaghetti Monster? Any deity or mythical characters out there want to help? There's cookies and milk in it for you....
Anyway. But as my daughter began talking, I realized that if I didn't tell her Santa exists, I have to tell her he doesn't, since talk of Santa in any group of children is rampant near Christmas. And if you know your average 3 and 4 year old, you know what THAT would mean..."MY mom says Santa isn't real!" So that option was out.
Then I adopted a "less said the better" attitude. I didn't deny Santa his gift bringing myths, I just downplayed them. We didn't go see Santa at the mall (easier to do in Pullman, a small town with no malls. There is a mall in the nearby town, but it was easily avoided.) When questioned, I briefly mentioned how Santa brought stockings that he laid on the ends of childrens' beds at night. For the first couple of years this worked. Santa was in charge of the stockings, the presents under the tree were from mom, dad, and The Grandmas.
Then the year Kaia was 5, it all unravelled on me. We had gone to my mom's house for Christmas. All the presents were wrapped, under the tree, and had been intimately scrutinized by one very precocious 5 year old. As I tucked her into bed, it happened. "Mom," she said. "I can't wait to see what Santa brings me."
"Remember, Sweetie?" I told her, then kissed her forehead. "Santa will bring your stocking, all filled with fun things, and put it on your bed for you to find in the morning!"
"Yes," She said, and grinned. "But Elizabeth at school said Santa ALSO brings the BEST presents and puts them under the tree! I can't WAIT to see what he puts under the tree for me!"
I managed a weak smile. "Okay dear, see you in the morning! I love you, good night."
Shit. What was I supposed to do?! Tell her, well, yes, Santa brings ELIZABETH the best present under the tree AND her stocking, but for you? Just a stocking. Santa must not love you as much as he loves Elizabeth. At that moment, I couldn't think of anything good. So into my mom's room I ran. "Mom! Quick, is there anything you have that we could wrap up for Santa to give Kaia? She's already seen all the presents under the tree, so I can't change a label!" I related then story of Elizabeth and her materialistic Santa (no, I wasn't irritated at all) and she sprung to action, like she always has when I need help. She searched her closet for any little things she had put away for possible gifts later. She came up with a coffee mug that had an Indian horse on it, a matching book, and a chunk of amethyst. "Perfect!" I said. We wrapped them all up in different paper than any of the gifts already displayed, and put them under the tree, proudly displaying their "For Kaia! From Santa!" labels.
It worked. For Kaia at age 5, a mug, a book, and a purple rock could equal "the BESTEST presents" under the tree. She was thrilled with Santa and his strange habits.
So over the next couple of years, Santa put things under the tree. I still didn't mention him if I could help it, and we never went to a mall.
This year, Kaia is 7. And she is full of certain knowledges of what Santa can do. Which is anything he wants to. So this year? She asked for a Bolt bike. Bolt is the new animated movie from Disney, it came out on Thanksgiving, though we won tickets to an advance showing. And guess what? It's not in any way an important enough movie for them to design bicycles with a Bolt theme. There's a few shirts out there, and overpriced plush toys. I told her Santa may not be able to find a Bolt bike, if they haven't made them. She scornfully told me Santa is magic, and can do anything he wants, which most certainly includes the simple task of designing and bringing her a Bolt bike. (I mean, sheesh, her friend Liam? Believes wholeheartedly that Santa is bringing him a room-cleaning robot. Next to that, what's a Bolt bike or two?)
I have assured her that even if Santa does not bring a Bolt bike, he will find the very best bike for her. She remains unconvinced. Andrea (Liam's mom), suggested buying a plain bike and Bolt decals and decorating it myself. Excellent idea!!! Saved!! Or...not. No Bolt decals available.
Then we went to the mall to make gingerbread houses. And guess who was there? yep. In all his redsuited whitebearded glory. And since he had no idea what Kaia meant when she said "I want a bolt bike, okay? thanks!" he simply smiled, nodded, and looked for the next child. She was ecstatic. Santa confirmed her belief! I sighed, took her hand, and reiterated that though I was sure Santa would look high and low, IF he couldn't find a Bolt bike, he would bring her a wonderful bike nonetheless.
Thursday we went to another mall to ride the quarter rides while we waited to go pick up Mike before our doctor appointments. I breathed a sigh of relief as we walked by the empty set-up where Santa would later sit. Kaia wasn't worried, she'd already sat in the fat man's lap and been absentmindedly promised her dream bike.
Then a bit later, we walked by it again. And lo and behold, Santa was JUST THEN sitting down for his evening shift. There were no other kids in sight. The costumed man, at the beginning of his shift, was still jolly. I hadn't even noticed him, but Kaia of course stopped dead in the middle of the hall and grinned at him. Earlier she had found a fake poinsettia blossom on the floor, and was carrying it lovingly with her, grand plans of room decoration in mind. Santa twinkled at her, and crooked his finger... come here! She looked at me for permission (good girl!) and ran to him, the only child around, except for Ben, and plopped herself down. Santa had time to chat. "Have you been a good girl?"
She nodded enthusiastically. "Yep!" Then she had an idea. "Here, Santa, this is for you!" She handed him the bedraggled poinsettia flower.
Santa looked surprised. "Thank you!"
Kaia grinned at him. And he asked the Question. Her answer was the same. He looked a little perplexed, not knowing what a "boltbike" might be. I saw my chance. "I'm sure that Santa will bring you a wonderful bike, even if it's not a Disney's Bolt bike!" I smiled encouragingly at Santa. Being a bit more awake than the previous one, he smiled back. "That's right" he said, not really understanding but realizing I need help, and handed her a candy cane. Ben had climbed up onto the stage and stood about 2 feet from Santa, staring transfixed. Santa handed him a candy cane too, winning Ben over for life.
We walked away, the kids eating their canes, and Kaia talked about how much nicer this Santa was than the other one. The idea of multiple Santas is fine with her. Then I found out why.
"Now I'm getting TWO BOLT BIKES!!!!" She said, skipping happily toward the door. "I told TWO Santas!"
I quickly nixed that whole idea by explaining that Santas talked to each other through email, so ONE bike POSSIBLY NOT BOLT, would be waiting under the tree.
She is still firmly convinced she will get a Bolt bike. I hope this doesn't ruin Christmas for her. Since we're not religious, Christmas is, unfortunately, still about presents to her. Yes, she's excited to see family. Yes, she's excited to GIVE gifts. But, mostly? She's excited about her Bolt bike.
Santa? God? Flying Spaghetti Monster? Any deity or mythical characters out there want to help? There's cookies and milk in it for you....
Friday, December 12, 2008
Evil Mom Gets Back At Bratty Child
Kaia threw a fit when I went to pick her up. A monster fit. A WAY bigger fit than any 7 year old should throw, EVER. So big that to relate it would just piss me off. So I retaliated. While buckling in Ben, as Kaia screamed in the seat next to him, I said, "Well, Ben, I guess we aren't doing that super-fun thing we had planned."
She paused in her wails. "What?! What super fun thing?" I didn't even look at her. "I'm not going to talk about it." I shut Ben's door and walked to mine. After I got in, the new fit started. "Give me a second CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCE, I'll beHAAAAAAAAAAAAVE!!" I ignored her. Finally she calmed down. "Mom? Can I have another chance? I didn't know we were going to do something fun."
"No," I said. "You don't behave because you get to do fun things. You behave well because you are supposed to. And you are certainly not rewarded for acting the way you are."
She begged me to tell her what the fun thing was. I said no. I said maybe next week, or the week after, we would do it. I said if she bothered me about it, that would add days onto the wait. I said we'd see how she behaved when I pick her up from school, and that I would THINK about MAYBE taking her in a week or two.
Now I just have to think of a fun thing. I had nothing planned at all.
She paused in her wails. "What?! What super fun thing?" I didn't even look at her. "I'm not going to talk about it." I shut Ben's door and walked to mine. After I got in, the new fit started. "Give me a second CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCE, I'll beHAAAAAAAAAAAAVE!!" I ignored her. Finally she calmed down. "Mom? Can I have another chance? I didn't know we were going to do something fun."
"No," I said. "You don't behave because you get to do fun things. You behave well because you are supposed to. And you are certainly not rewarded for acting the way you are."
She begged me to tell her what the fun thing was. I said no. I said maybe next week, or the week after, we would do it. I said if she bothered me about it, that would add days onto the wait. I said we'd see how she behaved when I pick her up from school, and that I would THINK about MAYBE taking her in a week or two.
Now I just have to think of a fun thing. I had nothing planned at all.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Friday, December 05, 2008
This happens EVERY DAY
Yesterday, around 4pm:
Kaia: Mom, is there a full moon tonight?
Me: I'm not sure, I haven't paid attention to it.
Kaia: Dad, is there a full moon tonight?
Mike: I'm not sure either...can you see the moon?
Kaia: Yes, it's right up there.
Mike: Well, is it full?
Kaia: No, not yet.
Me: Well, whatever the moon looks like right now, it will look like tonight.
Kaia: How do you know?
Me: Umm..I just do. That's how the moon works. Whatever it looks like in the afternoon, it will look like that at night.
Kaia: You never know, Mom. It could fill up more by tonight, and be full.
Me: No, that's not how it works. If it's not full now, it won't be full tonight.
Kaia: You don't know that Mom, it might change!
Me: *SIGH*
This morning, on the way to school:
Kaia: We should go in that car wash sometime, Mom.
Me: Sounds fun, we will soon.
Kaia: It's right there, next to that store....eleven...seven!
Me: 7-eleven.
Kaia: It could be a eleven-seven.
Me: No, it's a 7-Eleven.
Kaia: How do you know that? You aren't the owner, whoever owns it might have named it eleven-seven.
Me: No, there are lots of 7-elevens around. I do know that it's 7-11, not 11-7.
Kaia: You never know Mom, maybe THAT store is a 11-7!
Me: NO, I DO know, that's not an 11-7, it's a 7-11. All 7-11 stores have the same sign.
Kaia: But HOW do you know?
Me: Well, you know that 2 plus 2 is 4, right? What if someone said they thought 2 plus 2 is 5? You would just KNOW that's it's not, it's 4, right?
Kaia: (grudgingly) yes...
Me: Well, you just have to realize that I have a bit more life experience than you, and I KNOW that is a 7-11, not an 11-7.
Kaia: Maybe it is...we don't know.
Me: *SIGH*
I can only hope this incessant questioning and disbelief will help her become a world famous scientist who discovers amazing things because she NEVER accepts someone else's answer for her truth.
Kaia: Mom, is there a full moon tonight?
Me: I'm not sure, I haven't paid attention to it.
Kaia: Dad, is there a full moon tonight?
Mike: I'm not sure either...can you see the moon?
Kaia: Yes, it's right up there.
Mike: Well, is it full?
Kaia: No, not yet.
Me: Well, whatever the moon looks like right now, it will look like tonight.
Kaia: How do you know?
Me: Umm..I just do. That's how the moon works. Whatever it looks like in the afternoon, it will look like that at night.
Kaia: You never know, Mom. It could fill up more by tonight, and be full.
Me: No, that's not how it works. If it's not full now, it won't be full tonight.
Kaia: You don't know that Mom, it might change!
Me: *SIGH*
This morning, on the way to school:
Kaia: We should go in that car wash sometime, Mom.
Me: Sounds fun, we will soon.
Kaia: It's right there, next to that store....eleven...seven!
Me: 7-eleven.
Kaia: It could be a eleven-seven.
Me: No, it's a 7-Eleven.
Kaia: How do you know that? You aren't the owner, whoever owns it might have named it eleven-seven.
Me: No, there are lots of 7-elevens around. I do know that it's 7-11, not 11-7.
Kaia: You never know Mom, maybe THAT store is a 11-7!
Me: NO, I DO know, that's not an 11-7, it's a 7-11. All 7-11 stores have the same sign.
Kaia: But HOW do you know?
Me: Well, you know that 2 plus 2 is 4, right? What if someone said they thought 2 plus 2 is 5? You would just KNOW that's it's not, it's 4, right?
Kaia: (grudgingly) yes...
Me: Well, you just have to realize that I have a bit more life experience than you, and I KNOW that is a 7-11, not an 11-7.
Kaia: Maybe it is...we don't know.
Me: *SIGH*
I can only hope this incessant questioning and disbelief will help her become a world famous scientist who discovers amazing things because she NEVER accepts someone else's answer for her truth.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Yoda and Luke Take Over The Hallways at Daddy's Work
This picture was taken late in The Great Candy Gather of 2008, so both Luke and Yoda are a bit worse for the wear. 
Yoda, by the way, discovered a Great Love of Nestle's Crunch bars when his guardians mistakenly let him hold an unopened one. It took him about 3 minutes to chew through the wrapper and discover the Yummy Goodness Of Heavenly Chocolate Crunchiness, and his rage when it was removed from his Iron Grasp of Desperation was epic. He screeched, he yelled, he GROWLED, he sobbed. He was soon mollified with a chicken nugget, but his now-much-wiser guardians watched carefully for the rest of the night to make sure no candy stayed in his grasp long enough to be in any danger.
Luke wore her mask on the top of her head most of the night, to no surprise of her mother, who had repeatedly told her masks were unnecessary and just got in the way. Luke, with much determination and purpose, took very little time to plow down the Hallways of Free Treats, until her bag was quite heavy.
Her hand looks strangely fake here. It freaks me out a bit.Both kids had a great time, though Yoda took a dive into a table and bumped the bridge of his nose, and yes, there was a bit of blood. He's fine now. Some candy was consumed, some laughter heard, some tears shed - by both kids. Halloween is fun, but I am happy to be done for this year. Except for the next few days of course....more candy to be eaten, argued about, and gleefully sorted through over and over...and over.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Have I mentioned how utterly awesome I think my daughter is?
Last week we went to a local art museum where they were having a crafts day - Halloween themed, of course. Wrote about it earlier...
So at the front desk, they had a plastic witch's cauldron with a sign that read "Reach in if you dare!" It took Kaia several minutes and many promises on my part before she reached in....and took out a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. She was delighted with the whole idea.
This morning she told me her plan. She wanted to make her own container of candy, with the same sign, and carry it with her while she went trick-or-treating. She decided that she wanted the people who were giving out candy to reach in (if they dared!) and get a treat of their own! So this Halloween, she'll be walking around trading treats with everyone. The candy she chose for her scary bucket is gummy body parts - fingers, toes, tongues, and other such horrible things. Perfect for a Reach In If You Dare bucket!
Irreverence at its best
Kaia has a new saying. As far as I can tell, it's a mixture of "What in the world?" and "For heaven's sakes" But she uses it to mean "For heaven's sakes" (shouldn't that be for heaven's sake, not sakes? but that doesn't sound right..oh well, moving on)
So at times she will say "Oh for the world of heaven's snakes, dude!" yes, snakes, not sakes. I love it. It cracks me up every time I hear it. Sometimes I'll remember, and say it too. Cracks me up then, too.
Also, the other day she came out with "Oh, for the love of god!" I know I should probably teach her that out of respect for others' beliefs she shouldn't say it...but I didn't say anything. I'll have to confess it on Sunday.
So at times she will say "Oh for the world of heaven's snakes, dude!" yes, snakes, not sakes. I love it. It cracks me up every time I hear it. Sometimes I'll remember, and say it too. Cracks me up then, too.
Also, the other day she came out with "Oh, for the love of god!" I know I should probably teach her that out of respect for others' beliefs she shouldn't say it...but I didn't say anything. I'll have to confess it on Sunday.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Vote NO on 8!
"Daddy! Come look! See the house I designed? The family is in the living room. Here is the mother, and this girl is her wife. Here are their three kids!"
If you live in California, please vote NO on Proposition 8. There's enough hate in this world. Let's help there be more love.
If you live in California, please vote NO on Proposition 8. There's enough hate in this world. Let's help there be more love.
Friday, October 24, 2008
A Ghost, 3 Bellydancers, and Yoda
We went to the art museum today, they had a Halloween crafts day. The kids wore their costumes, people were quite amused by Ben's portrayal of Yoda.
Kaia made a paper ghost, and played pass-the-witch's-hat which was eerily similar to hot potato! She also made a couple of Halloween cards. A couple of kids she knows from my moms' group were there, so she had fun socializing with them.
At one point, there was a belly dancing show. Kaia asked if she could go sit and watch. I told her yes, but couldn't go with her at that moment. About 5 minutes later I walked over and looked for her in the group of people sitting in folding chairs. At first I couldn't see her, then I noticed her in the second to the front row, sitting with a family, chatting happily with the daughter and mom.
I let her know I was there, then stood Ben on a chair a little further back so he could see the dancers. He LOVED them! After each act, he would join everyone in clapping, then started clapping during the acts. After it was over, we wandered away to watch Kaia work on her cards. He ran back to the stage, clapped and laughed, then watched the empty stage expectantly. When nothing happened, he indicated he wanted up on a chair, where he repeated his clapping and gazing, as if to say "Okay! You have an audience now, you can come dance!" It was so cute!
Andrea and John sent the kids' birthday gifts. (Before you say "wait, their birthdays are long past!" be aware I still haven't sent her kids their gifts either!) They gave Kaia a Star Wars version of Monopoly, which made her almost giddy with excitement when she saw. She of course has claimed Luke Skywalker as her own. She and Mike are in the middle of their first game. Ben got one of those little ducks on a stick with flappy feet. This one has a clown hat and a bell. We've unoriginally named it "Ducky" and he has spent VERY little time without it. Sometimes Ducky is out in front, sometimes he trails behind, but almost all day, if Ben came in to the room, Ducky was with him!
Kaia made a paper ghost, and played pass-the-witch's-hat which was eerily similar to hot potato! She also made a couple of Halloween cards. A couple of kids she knows from my moms' group were there, so she had fun socializing with them.
At one point, there was a belly dancing show. Kaia asked if she could go sit and watch. I told her yes, but couldn't go with her at that moment. About 5 minutes later I walked over and looked for her in the group of people sitting in folding chairs. At first I couldn't see her, then I noticed her in the second to the front row, sitting with a family, chatting happily with the daughter and mom.
I let her know I was there, then stood Ben on a chair a little further back so he could see the dancers. He LOVED them! After each act, he would join everyone in clapping, then started clapping during the acts. After it was over, we wandered away to watch Kaia work on her cards. He ran back to the stage, clapped and laughed, then watched the empty stage expectantly. When nothing happened, he indicated he wanted up on a chair, where he repeated his clapping and gazing, as if to say "Okay! You have an audience now, you can come dance!" It was so cute!
Andrea and John sent the kids' birthday gifts. (Before you say "wait, their birthdays are long past!" be aware I still haven't sent her kids their gifts either!) They gave Kaia a Star Wars version of Monopoly, which made her almost giddy with excitement when she saw. She of course has claimed Luke Skywalker as her own. She and Mike are in the middle of their first game. Ben got one of those little ducks on a stick with flappy feet. This one has a clown hat and a bell. We've unoriginally named it "Ducky" and he has spent VERY little time without it. Sometimes Ducky is out in front, sometimes he trails behind, but almost all day, if Ben came in to the room, Ducky was with him!
Monday, October 13, 2008
bits 'n pieces
Ben got his 7th tooth 2 days ago.
Kaia's still working on her joke telling skills:
Kaia: What do you have if you have 3 pairs of shoes?
Me: umm...what?
Kaia: EIGHT SHOES!!! HA HA HA!!! Get it?!!?
Me: ummm...honestly, no...
Kaia: Because, you have 3 pairs, so you have 6 shoes, but then someone comes and secretly puts two more shoes there! So you have eight shoes now! Get it?!!?
Ben slept last night from 7:30pm to 5:10am!! From what I can remember, this is the FIRST TIME EVER!!!! WHOO HOOO!!!! (do it again tonight Ben!)
We ordered the kids' costumes today. Yoda for Ben, and Luke Skywalker for Kaia. Spent more than I really should have for costumes, but I really don't have the energy to make a Luke Skywalker costume.
I have worked out 3 days a week for the last 2 weeks. Not a long time, I know, but a very good start!
Kaia's still working on her joke telling skills:
Kaia: What do you have if you have 3 pairs of shoes?
Me: umm...what?
Kaia: EIGHT SHOES!!! HA HA HA!!! Get it?!!?
Me: ummm...honestly, no...
Kaia: Because, you have 3 pairs, so you have 6 shoes, but then someone comes and secretly puts two more shoes there! So you have eight shoes now! Get it?!!?
Ben slept last night from 7:30pm to 5:10am!! From what I can remember, this is the FIRST TIME EVER!!!! WHOO HOOO!!!! (do it again tonight Ben!)
We ordered the kids' costumes today. Yoda for Ben, and Luke Skywalker for Kaia. Spent more than I really should have for costumes, but I really don't have the energy to make a Luke Skywalker costume.
I have worked out 3 days a week for the last 2 weeks. Not a long time, I know, but a very good start!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
7 year old logic sometimes actually makes a scary sort of sense.
today in the car. this is only part of her monologue-
"I think there must be a god. If not, how was the first person made? Because the first person couldn't have been BORN, or the MOTHER would have been the first person! I think the first person ever must have been a woman, because if it was a man there wouldn't be as many people that exist today, 'cause men can't have babies!"
"I think there must be a god. If not, how was the first person made? Because the first person couldn't have been BORN, or the MOTHER would have been the first person! I think the first person ever must have been a woman, because if it was a man there wouldn't be as many people that exist today, 'cause men can't have babies!"
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Friday, August 08, 2008
Thursday, August 07, 2008
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